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Ever notice Disney movies as of late? We’ve got the Scottish parable entitled “Brave”. We’ve got the story of “Rapunzel” turned into “Tangled”. And we’ve got the immortal “The Snow Queen” um…er…well, the title, at least, inspiring “Frozen”. (Not the plot, of course, as anyone who’s seen the trailer and read the actual story could tell you the plot of the upcoming film, in true Disney bastardization fashion, is enough to make Hans Christian Andersen turn over in his grave so many times his corpse and coffin can become a perpetual motion machine. Anyway…)

What does this all mean? Only one thing, obviously… Long titles or even titles with nouns are out. The wave of the future is single adjective titles!

Got me thinking, though… How would that work if all Disney films had to be reworked to have their title be a single adjective?

Hmm…

“Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” – “Poisoned”

“Pinocchio” – “Terrifying”

“Fantasia” – “Boring”

“Dumbo” – “Drunken”

“Bambi” – “Misleading”

“Cinderella” – “Infested”

“Alice in Wonderland” – “Trippy”

“Peter Pan” – “Racist”

“Sleeping Beauty” – “Infernal”

“The Jungle Book” – “Bastardized”

“Robin Hood” – “Budgeted”

“The Black Cauldron” – “Forgotten”

“Oliver & Company” – “Rewritten”

“The Little Mermaid” – “Drowned”

“Beauty and the Beast” – “Beastly”…just kidding. “Vocal”

“Aladdin” – “Retconned”

“The Lion King” – “Shakespearian”

“Pocahontas” – “Bastardized II”

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