In yet another shameless knockoff of a Youtube funny group (this time “Cinema Sins”), I present to you my own “Everyting Wrong With”.
By the way, go check out “Cinema Sins” right now before reading this.
Also, I know this one has already been “fan-done”…but what the heck. I’ll do it too.
“My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic – Equestria Girls”
In the Time It Takes You to Read This or Less
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 1
Pinkie Pie shamelessly plugs other Hasbro merchandise with “Transformers” sound effect.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 2
Humanized Twilight’s scream at her appearance reflects Internet’s reaction to her concept art.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 3
Mirror leads to the “Doug” universe.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 4
Humanized Diamond Tiara smacks Twilight as soon as she sees her. Pretty typical for Diamond Tiara being a b**ch, but she’s clearly both younger and a foot shorter than Twilight. If this was real life, Diamond Tiara’s head would be going straight in the toilet or trash.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 5
Plot point alert! This guy has the exact same color scheme as that pegasus Twilight noticed back in Equestria.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 6
Humanized Twilight meeting Humanized Fluttershy is verbatim from Season One, Episode One. Seriously…Lauren Faust needs her name in the credits or to sue for plagarism.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 7
Angel Bunny in the human world is exactly the same as Angel Bunny in Equestria. Does that mean he’s the focal point of the existence of both universes?
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 8
Principal Celestia’s cowlick.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 9
TWILIGHT: “Looks like if I want my crown back, I’ll have to become Princess of the Canterlot High Fall Formal!”
“…Because, you know, if I snuck into the office after hours and just took it back, this movie would only last 25 minutes.”
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 10
Canterlot High lacks an anime/manga nerd clique.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 11
So, apparently, just as it was John Rhys-Davis’ character’s destiny in “Sliders” (Remember that show?) to always be a jerk regardless of what dimension he was in, it’s Snips and Snails’ destiny to always be dim-witted minions.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 12
Plotline of movie is essentially that of the live-action “Bratz” film.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 13
Humanized Cheerilee is clearly disgusted when she has to actually do her job in the library and help a student use the IT resources. Did she just take this position thinking all she had to do was file books and read all day?
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 14
This dimension is so peaceful that a student and her dog that no one has seen before is allowed to roam at will throughout the school all day and after hours and even camp out in the library. No wonder you can rule it by winning a high school popularity contest.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 15
Did Sunset Shimmer’s “campaign ad” assume that the student body has a natural dislike for klutziness over bitchiness?
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 16
Sunset Shimmer is a severely-dumbed down, cartoon version of the bad guy in the fourth “Die Hard” movie.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 17
The cafeteria scene leads up to “We Will Rock You” and never delivers.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 18
Horse-Themed Flash Mob = Instant Popularity
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 19
The musical sequence would have been unnecessary if Twilight had simply made an ad pointing out the obvious fact that not voting for her is voting for superb**ch. Seriously, it’s like voting for any average joe vs. Cthulhu. Does it really matter who the average joe is?
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 20
Vice Principal Luna’s cowlick.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 21
Ok, either Sunset Shimmer siphoned all the intelligence out of Vice Principal Luna at one point or she’s the dumbest vice principal in history. It would have been one thing if the pictures attempting to frame Twilight had been photoshopped, but when Flash Sentry comes in, he reveals the fake photos were clearly made simply by cutting out older pictures of Twilight and pasting them on photos of the wrecked dance hall, which is clearly noticeable to anyone with good eyesight and/or a sense of touch.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 22
Furthermore, the first person to bring the photos to Luna’s attention was Sunset Shimmer herself. While technically she might have just “found them”, it’s more than likely that she took them herself. That didn’t trigger any disciplinary action directed toward Sunset Shimmer? Even a warning flag? Is “wrecking the dance hall” a school crime but “framing a student” not? She didn’t get suspicious in the first place that someone took pictures of someone destroying the dance hall without calling for help?
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 23
Humanized Mane Six all instantly believes Twilight’s story, despite the fact that Pinkie Pie is backing it up. This must be the world where “The Invention of Lying” took place.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 24
Fluttershy gets hit with a broom.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 25
Dresses for the Fall Formal are more basic and simple than dresses for the Grand Galloping Gala despite the fact real ponies don’t wear dresses.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 26
Movie gets a sin taken off for not using the “Villain Stuffs the Ballot Box” cliche.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 25
Sunset Shimmer threatens to smash the portal, but at this point, the portal is still open. Wouldn’t her hammer just go right through it?
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 26
Humanized Applejack apparently keeps a lasso on her person at all times, even during formal occasions.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 27
Holy sh’t, she turned into a succubus.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 28
“Wilheim Scream” when Sunset breaks down the front of the school.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 29
Now the show really is like “Sailor Moon”…or, at minimum, “Tokyo Mew Mew” with horses.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 30
No matter what dimension she’s in, Celestia’s main importance is giving speeches to Twilight.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 31
I don’t think “Doing the Horse” will catch on anytime soon.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 32
Humanized Mane Six are not at all disturbed by the fact that they’re 10% horse.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 33
Sunset Shimmer’s only punishment for her years of backstabbing, treachery, and manipulation, not to mention the fact she turned into a ten-foot-tall demon and tried to brainwash the school into being her own personal army to conquer Equestria, is to rebuild the front of the school. Not only is that not a very suitable punishment, it’s sheer stupidity. Does Sunset have any background in construction, masonry, carpentry, or any other skill necessary to rebuild the front of the school? That building is not going to be up to code.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 34
Fans who wanted more male characters on the show regret it on seeing Twilight and Flash Sentry’s last scenes.
MOVIE SIN COUNT: 35
FINAL TALLY: 35
BONUS ROUND! Humanized Twilight doing pony things!
FINAL TALLY: 42
SENTENCE: 1,000 YEARS SEALED IN THE MOON (Where you can not like bananas [bitch])
(After Sunset Shimmer has her bluff called on the mirror)
APPLEJACK: I can’t believe you were going to do that for us!
RARITY: It’s no wonder you’re a real live princess!
(Sunset Shimmer gets angry and tackles Twilight Sparkle for the crown.)
BOROMIR (V.O.): Fool! It’s not yours save by some unhappy chance! It’s could be mine! It SHOULD be mine! GIVE IT TO ME!