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I love “Death Battle”…most of the time. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a series from ScrewAttack that’s also on Youtube that features pitting famous fictional characters against each other in a battle to the death to see who reigns supreme. They include all sorts of fights against iconic characters such as Boba Fett vs. Samus Aran, Batman vs. Spider-Man, Mario vs. Sonic, and (the often controversial) Superman vs. Goku. Some of their fights have left me wanting to declare “bullsh’t” more than once due to bad choices, but there’s a number I’d still like to see pop up on that station before they run out of “good ones”.

For the most recent in history…I’d love to see “Frozen”‘s Elsa versus “Rise of the Guardians”‘s Jack Frost. Sure, they’re big as far as shippings go…but I want to see them battle for supremacy!

They may very well end up doing this one…but just in case they don’t…how would it go?

Maybe a little something like this…

(Pardon me for not being two people like on the real “Death Battle”…I’ll have to make due the best I can by bantering with myself like a crazy person. :P)

If there’s anything last winter has shown us, it’s one simple truth…cold kicks our ass.

Just ask any idiot dumb enough to try and invade Russia in the winter!

And when it comes to “wielding winter”, two super-powered beings stand head and shoulders above the rest in the world of fandom!

Jack Frost…the Guardian of Childhood representing “Fun”…

And…

Elsa…the Snow Queen of Arendelle…

We’ll analyze their powers, aptitudes, strengths, and weaknesses to answer the question… Who would win a DEATH BATTLE?

Jack Frost

“Jackson Overland Frost”…better known as “Jack Frost”…was just a regular teenage troublemaker, entertainer, and prank-player in the colonial United States, Pennsylvania. All that changed one fateful winter when he and his sister went out skating on thin ice…literally. While rescuing his sister from falling through, he ended up taking the icy plunge himself. However, an entity known as the “Man in the Moon” brought him back from the dead as the Spirit of Winter itself, giving him immortality and supernatural powers. In the modern day, while Jack appears to be perpetually frozen at the age of either 14 or 17 (depending on the source), he’s really over 300 years old.

Let me get this straight… He’s a hot guy who looks like a teenager but is actually a really old immortal dude…he’s ice cold to the touch…and he sparkles in the sun. I’m starting to see why this guy became so popular…

Jack spent those 300 years using his new powers to cause pranks and mischief at every opportunity, but also had a natural inclination to have fun with children. Eventually, he was approached by the other Guardians of Childhood, seeking to make him a member. At first he was disinterested, shirking the responsibility that it would entail, and only helped them combat their archenemy Pitch Black in order to get his baby teeth, which held his childhood memories that he had forgotten when he was reborn.

Wait a sec…baby teeth hold memories? No wonder I keep losing to those kids on “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”!

Over time, Jack’s altruistic side began to come out when he saw his new friends depending on him and the children he had unknowingly grown to care for suffering, eventually leading him to cement his position as a Guardian of Childhood himself and become “good” full time…or, at least, most of the time.

Physical Characteristics:

Heightened Physical Resistance

Immortal to Age

Immune to Cold

Highly Athletic

High Reaction Time and Agility

Jack may be a scrawny little teen, but he can run rings around my pudgy buns and almost anyone else’s any day of the week. Able to move as fast as a car and yet be as nimble as an insect…if he was any more agile and nimble he’d give Neo from “The Matrix” a run for his money at bullet dodging. Plus, the fact that he can fall a couple hundred feet and get smacked into solid rock with the speed of a car and only be “a bit stunned” for it means no football jock at his local high school is going to be able to knock him out. Plus he’s got stamina and speed to boot.

That’s right. Jack was able to accompany the other Guardians in going around the entire planet in one night collecting teeth from children when the tooth fairies were incapacitated. And since nearly 8,000,000 baby teeth are lost every day, that means he visited at least 1,600,000 homes world-wide in a 24 hour period and didn’t even need to stop for coffee when he was done.

Yeah, yeah…speed and stamina are great…get to the cool crap! Literally!

Magical Powers:

Cold Aura

Conjure Snowstorms

Small Ice Constructs

Magic of Fun

Since Jack is the spirit of winter itself, his body is constantly producing an icy chill. In fact, it’s not clear how much of his attire, skin, or hair is his natural appearance or is the fact that he just plain ices-over anything he touches long enough. In addition, he’s able to conjure up blizzards and snowstorms with ease, although it’s not clear just how much he’s capable of putting out. Bunnymund claims that Jack created a blizzard in 1968 great enough to call off the Easter festivities, while in the movie we see him mostly just producing enough snow to cancel classes or make nice-looking flurries. So…apparently, he has quite the range on his power. He’s also able to generate enough freezing temperature to ice over a lake, instantly generate frost, or create small constructs of snow and ice and manipulate them through raw touch and power alone.

However, since Jack is also the “Fun” Guardian…which…sounds a bit weirder than it really is…he can also strike people with an enchantment, either in his snowballs or his touch, that causes most people to immediately want to stop being angry, upset, or scared, and just want to have “a good time” having fun. It doesn’t appear to necessarily work on everyone, but on beings of power comparable to his it does, and that’s saying a lot.

That’s all well and good on its own…but, like Teddy Roosevelt, Jack speaks softly and carries a Big Stick!

Jack’s Staff:

Focuses his natural powers over winter

Enables flight

Enables ice beams

Increases his ability to instantly generate ice and snow over a localized area

Jack’s staff, which got made out of the same stick he used to get his sister off of the thin ice 300 years ago, was remade by the Man in the Moon to enable him to focus his power to do a lot more damage. With the staff in hand he can fly as nimbly and easily as a flake of snow being fluttered about in the wind…which sounds poetic until some guy you’re trying to kill is doing it, then you find it KICKS YOUR ASS. He can make pathways of ice faster than Iceman in that old Spider-Man cartoon, instantly freeze things with a touch, and sweep waves of ice around him like a shield to deflect attacks.

His most awesome move, however, is his “Ice Beams”. He can actually make deadly energy beams…of ice. How does that work?

Apparently really well, because he can knock around entire waves of opponents with concentrated blasts from it. The beams themselves appear to mostly be force as opposed to directly damaging, but any opponents who survives the initial hit and is still caught up in the blast will find themselves turned into a popsicle almost immediately. This move alone makes him one of the strongest of the Guardians, but it comes with a price. When he unleashes his full power he’s usually drained after he’s done, and sometimes even unconscious.

Other:

Mischievous Prankster

Psychological Attacker

Expert Freerunner

Craves Attention

Guardian “Complex”

Staff is Damageable

Apparently Jack, for all of his lazy attitude and smugness, uses his cleverness quite a bit too. He’s good at psychologically manipulating opponents by teasing and taunting them, with a fighting style that seems more directed toward humiliation and trickery rather than outright damage. The end result leaves his opponents too frustrated to see surprise attacks or focus on hitting him. And with 300 years of experience under his belt, he knows how to use his power in all sorts of ways to get under people’s skin.

He also takes his “fun and carefree” philosophy to a physical level, because he’s an expert freerunner…or…freeflyer, if you prefer. He always likes staying in a constant state of motion, and it seems to work pretty well when he’s up against bad guys.

As far as weaknesses are concerned, Jack isn’t without them. He loves being the center of attention and goes out of his way to do so. This leads him to prank and tease even those he cares about to draw more attention to himself. This is likely a side effect of years and years of being invisible to everyone except other supernatural beings. Ironically, he also has a Guardian “Complex”…feeling he’s responsible for everything that goes wrong to individuals around him and not very forgiving of his own mistakes. Plus, he’s not above being manipulated himself, as people who taunt him can easily goad him into doing whatever they want due to his troubled past.

Most important, that stick he carries around is…well…a stick. And it’s just as weak as one. Which means if someone breaks it, he’s back to being stuck on the ground with many of his better powers nullified…no flight, no ice beams, no instant freezes, no sliding trails, no ice cream…

We get the point. And although he can fix the staff if given enough time, he still ultimately needs it as opposed to focusing his power through any other object.

But whole died-and-lost-memory-of-life aside…Jack Frost is a master entertainer, a bad-ass Guardian, and one “cool customer”! …Yes, I just said that lame pun.

Elsa

Princess Elsa of Arendelle…(…which is a country which apparently doesn’t believe in last names…) the oldest child of the King and Queen of Arendelle…discovered at a young age that she was inexplicably born with the power to manipulate ice and snow through a power known as “cryokinesis”.

Cry-A-What-Now?

“Cryokinesis” – The ability to manipulate cold through mental control. (Think the opposite of Drew Barrymore’s character in “Firestarter”.) Her younger sister Anna enjoyed having Elsa perform her power for her, but during one of their games a misfire by Elsa struck Anna in the head and nearly killed her. As a result, she learned to fear her own power and her parents encouraged her to become a shut-in recluse withdrawn from everyone and suppressing all emotion until she would learn to control it.

Sheesh! When I accidentally beaned my little brother in the head with a bat, all I got was grounded from the SNES for a week! These parents are strict!

As Elsa grew to adulthood, her power only increased in ability and her mind became more of a ticking time bomb from continuous emotional repression, until finally it came out in one colossal burst…dipping her home country into an Arctic-level eternal winter and causing her to manifest her true nature as “the Snow Queen”.

I feel a great disturbance in the Force! It was as if millions of covers were made of the same pop song and suddenly put on Youtube!

Physical Characteristics:

Immune to Cold

“Frozen” Metabolism

Near-Unlimited Stamina

High Reaction Time

Elsa is completely immune to any cold temperature. So much so that her clothes are literally made out of ice. On the surface, it doesn’t appear as if Elsa has much else going with her in the physical department, but in reality her power impacts her own metabolsm and slows it naturally. This is clear in simple things such as the fact that her breath doesn’t mist and she can move easily in thin, cold air at high elevations. The result is that she can survive with little air, little sleep, and little-to-no food. It also allows her to go much harder and much longer than normal individuals. Where it took Kristoff and Anna the better part of two days to get to the North Mountain where Elsa had made her ice castle, and that was with taking a sleigh part of the way, Elsa was able to run all night across the country and up the mountain, and still had more than enough breath and energy to build herself her own personal Fortress of Solitude.

She may not be physically strong, but she can respond in a snap. Elsa stopped a crossbow bolt being shot at her head from about twenty-five feet. Well, a crossbow bolt goes around 350 feet per second, which means Elsa had all of seven hundredths of a second to stop that shot. Damn that’s cool…damnit, I used another pun!

Magical Powers:

Cryokinesis

Terrain Conformity

Permanent Duration Area-of-Effect Magic

Possible Power Self-Preservation

Life Creation

Death Sentence

Because Elsa is “cryokinetic” as opposed to using magic “conventionally”, her power has limitless possibilities and responds immediately. In theory, there is no limit to Elsa’s power and range over cold. It’s confirmed at the minimum that she was able to freeze a city-state and its surrounding area, including the ocean. Seeing as oceans are made of seawater and she froze it several feet thick, seemingly in several seconds, it’s reasonable to assume she can make a large area at least as cold as Arctic conditions. Yet as she sings, she’s “one with the wind and sky”. That means she can easily sweep the snow around into a major blizzard as well with hurricane-like force. Yeah…her sister and that mountain man must have had really thick skin.

And because she’s a…cry-a…cry-o…whatever, there’s a chance that her power is actually “self aware” for self-preservation. It would explain how she stopped that bolt earlier even without looking at it… Or why, when she’s trying to keep her sister away, she…you know…shoots her in the chest and generates homicidal monsters…

Her power is also unlimited duration when she uses it. Even when she was knocked out the snowstorm on Arendelle continued to rage, and she was able to generate a permanent zone of cold air around her snowman Olaf without needing any more “input” on her part to keep him from melting even in summer heat. Never buy an ice cooler again.

Yet she has two powers even more impressive than this. The first and most notable is that Elsa can literally create life.

Say what? Disney got away with that kind of sacreligion?

Elsa can not only make any construct she can imagine out of snow, but imbue it with life at the same time. Apparently this is such an easy task for her that she does it without even thinking. And while some of her constructs can be small, simple, and sweet, some of them can be more of the “ogre” or “cave troll” variety. Don’t think a living snowman is that big of a deal? You might when they have enough ice and snow packing to enable them to be smacked by trees and only get stunned, uproot other trees and throw them at you, and be totally immune to pain and death unless you melt them. I mean, seriously, you’re going to kill a snowman by stabbing it?

Her other power is a “death sentence” move. If she shoots someone in the head or heart with her raw power and puts ice in there, they’re basically sentenced to a slow, agonizing, painful death as they get colder and colder from the inside. Assuming they can stay warm enough to not simply freeze to death, within less than 24 hours they’ll turn into an ice statue for eternity.

Unless they perform an act of true love to melt the ice in their hearts, of course. But apparently that requirement is fairly stringent as the last person to get her heart frozen couldn’t melt it even when she was willing to freeze to keep her snowman friend from melting. The head is easier to remove, though. The bottom line? Elsa can “lose the battle but win the war” if she manages to nail you in the heart.

Sheesh, no wonder they had to make this girl a non-villain! Nobody would stand a chance!

Other:

Emotionally tied to her power

Low experience

Taught to fear her potential

Well, that’s not entirely true. Because Elsa is a cryokinetic she has greater potential, but also more instability. Her emotional state is literally tied to her power. Even the ice around her responds to her. When she gets depressed, it turns dark and sharp. When she gets angry, it turns yellow and fierce. When she gets scared, it turns into an ever-escalating snowstorm. And the more emotional she becomes, the more unstable her powers get. And, unfortunately for her, it’s easy for her to become emotional because she was raised by her parents to live in a state of total emotional restraint, making her prone to “exploding”.

She also may have the goods but she doesn’t know how to use them. Most of Elsa’s powers were discovered by accident, including all her gnarly ones like creating life and turning an entire country into an ice cube. You can blame mom and dad for that again as she spent the better part of her childhood trying not to use her power.

However, since she learned to “let it go”, she has mastered quite a great deal and become one of the most powerful Disney characters ever created, taking her rightful place as the Snow Queen of Arendelle and one of the greatest ice-powered characters of all time.

We’ve broken them down for you…so now it’s time to see…who would win a DEATH BATTLE?!

(Jack Frost swoops down on an empty fjord filled with ships and lands on one foot, instantly freezing the entire fjord solid. As he stands and braces his staff over one shoulder, he looks forward and sees Elsa in her queen attire running out to him. She freezes on seeing him, and quickly whips her arms around her to rearrange her clothes into her icy blue slip and mantle.)

FIGHT!

(Both start off by swinging their hands at each other and unleashing biting icy gales with freezing cold winds. Both shoot for a few moments…but then suddenly cut off, realizing neither is doing anything to each other. A moment later, however, Jack snaps out of it and makes a stream of “ice pucks” pop out of thin air and land in front of him, before swinging his staff around and beginning to shoot them one after another at Elsa. She reacts by quickly generating ice walls to protect her, shattering the puck and the wall with each generation. Finally, she breaks loose and swings her other hand out, launching an icy “column” off of the ground and right for Jack to impale him, but he simply takes to the air.)

(Elsa quickly fires off blasts of cold after him, but Jack nimbly dodges each attempt with fluid movements and effortless gestures before he flings icy rocks of his own down at the snow queen. Elsa raises her arms to generate an ice wall to stop one, but immediately it breaks through and knocks her back, slamming her into the ground. Jack quickly swoops in and begins to fire a stream of icy darts at her one after the other, slashing and slicing at her this way and that. She continues to take the pain for a moment, before she suddenly rolls out of the way of one dart and sweeps her arms around her. In an instant, ten “snow ogres” are generated and give roars of rage before charging right for Jack.)

(Being too low to the ground, Jack is powerless to stop himself as one smashes a fist into him, knocking him through the air and into another one, who punches him as well and knocks him back to another, and so on and so forth. After being smacked about multiple times, he quickly takes into the air, holds his staff over his head, focuses his power for a moment, and then quickly fires off a potent blast of cold energy straight at Elsa. However, one of the snow ogres leaps up and takes the bulk of the hit, and she quickly stops the rest of it by generating an instant blizzard, sending huge amounts of wind, hail, and snow rushing forward and dissipating the blast. Not only that, but once it’s gone…a hurricane like snowstorm lashes out and seizes Jack in midair, and soon he’s being flung about violently within a maelstrom.)

(After a moment, he slammed into the ground. The snow ogres immediately rush in for the kill…but in a moment he springs up, generates a snowball, and flings it directly through them and right into Elsa’s face. On making contact, it causes a light blue aura that makes her smile, before she waves her hand again and turns the entire mess of snow ogres into happy little snowmen. Suddenly shocked at what she did, Elsa shakes her head…but is too late as Jack immediately fires off another massive blast of cold energy, instantly freezing and shattering all of the snowmen before slamming into her and ripping her back practically into one of the ships docked into the fjord. On smacking into it, she collapses back down onto all fours, clearly hurt and winded.)

(Jack quickly seizes the opportunity to dash forward, moving easily and smoothly along the ice. On getting in range, he begins to bombard her with one massive ice crystal after another, smacking her around and drawing blood left and right. Elsa attempts to fight back a few times, but he’s too nimble and quick for her to land a single hit. She mostly just get pummeled as he literally runs rings around her. Soon she cringes into a ball. But once there, she grits her teeth and balls her hands into fists, causing the world around her to first snow, then storm, then begin to rage. Finally, as Jack moves in for a final stroke, she stands up and cries out, sending out massive ice pillars in all directions that not only smash into Jack…but snap his staff in two.)

(Jack falls to the ground a moment later, and realizes he’s out of power. He quickly tries to reconnect his staff, but Elsa, although hurt and limping, doesn’t give him the chance as she sends wave after wave of icicles and spiked walls into him, slamming him around and beating him about like a ping-pong ball. After bashing him about enough times to keep him from trying to reconnect his staff, she drops him to the ground, leaving him stunned and reeling. After that, she focuses her power a moment, and then fires a beam right into his heart. Jack only has a moment to look stunned before he’s hit…and instantly turns into a statue of ice.)

(Elsa pants for a moment, but rises tall afterward, believing she’s won. She moves over to the statue slowly, taking her time, and looking it over to make sure the Winter Spirit is finished. She leans in close to examine…only for it to suddenly explode…showering her with ice crystals to the eyes that make her stagger back. Underneath, the unharmed Jack Frost makes a taunting motion to her for being tricked. In desperation, she throws out a beam of ice in front of her, but Jack nimbly leaps over behind her and, on landing behind, drives one end of his splintered spear in through the other side and out her chest. She gasps and spasms a moment, before the cold pumping through it turns her into a statue herself…and Jack rips it out and shatters her, striking a cocky pose afterward.)

KO!

Oh boy…in the ultimate irony, we’re gonna get flamed for this one, aren’t we?

Yes. Yes we are. In terms of raw power, Elsa had Jack outmatched from the get-go. Her command over cold is both more potent and focused than his, even with the staff, and she could easily generate as many ice constructs and blockades as she wanted to deal with his attacks. Whereas Jack gets tired from overuse of his power in spite of his stamina, Elsa never does. And his “slow gliding” power of flight was nothing compared to a woman who could whip of a hurricane.

BUT…in spite of all that, Elsa is still a pure greenhorn. In the only fight she’s been in, her targets had to stay nice and stationary for a few moments before she could prepare an attack, and Elsa has shown she’s bad when it comes to quick thinking and use of her power except when defending herself. Jack could run rings around her all day.

The Guardian of Fun also has experience and practice on his side. Hence, he was able to render Elsa’s ability to make murderous snow ogres inert by forcing her to “have fun”, turning them into harmless constructs that “like warm hugs”. All of his hits did more lasting damage to Elsa as well. While Jack can take tall falls and being smacked around by super-powered entities, Elsa was knocked out for hours just from an indirect impact with an ice chandelier she had made. Breaking Jack’s staff was definitely a turning point, but that didn’t render him totally powerless, and Jack has history being a trickster to fool his opponents. When Elsa thought she had frozen his heart, which he was immune to thanks to his cold nature, he lured her in close and was able to give the final blow.

In short, what he lacked in power…Jack made up for in everything else.

The winner…is Jack Frost.

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