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I love “Death Battle”…most of the time. If you’re not familiar with it, it’s a series from ScrewAttack that’s also on Youtube that features pitting famous fictional characters against each other in a battle to the death to see who reigns supreme. They include all sorts of fights against iconic characters such as Boba Fett vs. Samus Aran, Batman vs. Spider-Man, Mario vs. Sonic, and (the often controversial) Superman vs. Goku. Some of their fights have left me wanting to declare “bullsh’t” more than once due to bad choices, but there’s a number I’d still like to see pop up on that station before they run out of “good ones”.

I’ve already done a fictional one for Jack Frost vs. Elsa, Alucard vs. D, and Hermione Granger vs. Princess Twilight Sparkle…so time for another pony. I’ll try to make this the last but…I just finished “The After Years” and it’s too fitting. Here we go!

(Pardon me for not being two people like on the real “Death Battle”…I’ll have to make do the best I can by bantering with myself like a crazy person. :P)

What’s the one thing that the entertainment world has taught us about villains?

They waste time talking when they should just off the hero? They always have to explain their whole evil plan when they think they’ve won? They laugh maniacally? They won’t die for good if they fall off cliffs?

Yes to all of the above, but they’ve also taught us that evil is petty. So petty that mere sibling rivalry can lead to the most deadliest of enemies and the most awesome of villains. From Scar to Unicron, fiction is rife with examples of how the greatest villain of all is someone who probably shared your room with you and you trolled in Super Mario Kart growing up.

And when it comes to the worst of the worst, two characters stand out as being cloaked in darkness, obsessed with sibling murder, and have a strange fascination with the moon…

Golbez…the half-Lunarian, ultimate knight of darkness…

And…

Princess Luna…the alicorn goddess of the moon…

Not another pony… We’ll analyze their powers, aptitudes, strengths, and weaknesses to answer the question… Who would win a DEATH BATTLE?

GOLBEZ

The Blue Planet…

…That’s ‘Earth’, for those of you at home.

Well…sort of. Unlike the Earth we have, this one has two moons. One is…well, the moon. The other is a massive starship that came from the wreckage of a planet between Mars and Jupiter. Know that asteroid belt? That’s the one.

Aliens migrate to Earth from the wreckage of a planet in our own solar system? I knew it! Crazy theories: 1, regular theories: a billion!

The aliens of this strange starship were known as the Lunarians and, while humanoid in appearance, were far more intelligent and advanced physically, mentally, and spiritually compared to us near-ape humans. Fearing that humans were too underadvanced to be able to coexist with them without being driven to extinction, they put themselves into cryogenic sleep for millions of years, hoping that one day mankind would be advanced enough to intermingle with them.

But one of them said ‘F*** that sh’t’ and rode a big-ass starship in the shape of a whale down to the planet, started teaching people all sorts of crazy technology, and got himself some unevolved humanoid action…

More or less. The Lunarian known as Kluya decided to help “speed humanity along” and taught them how to make interdimensional transporters, airships, and how to perform magic. He also fell in love with a human woman and sired a son named Theodor. Unlike his father, who mastered both black magic, the magic of destruction, and white magic, the magic of restoration, Theodor only had exceptional talent in black magic.

The badass stuff all gamers want and laugh at white mages for…only to turn around and wish they were in their party later. Anyway, turns out it may not have been such a good idea to teach a bunch of evolving humans magic because they ended up using it on him and killed him. Theodor had one chance to save him if he could have managed a basic white magic spell but…sorry dude, that wasn’t in his class description. To top that all off, it wasn’t long after that his mom also kicked the bucket giving birth to his little brother Cecil.

In spite of being only a child, Theodor twisted in his mind that somehow Cecil had been responsible both for the death of his mother and his father and became desperately hateful of him. Abandoning him to die, Theodor fled into the wilderness of the Blue Planet and was eventually contacted by the mind of Zemes, another Lunarian who wanted to activate a major death weapon called the Giant of Babel to annihilate all life on the planet and make it suitable for Lunarians.

Think of him as the ultimate epic Captain Planet villain. Well, it wasn’t long before Zemes pulled an Emperor Palpatine on Theodor and brought him over to the Dark Side. As Theodor grew in more hatred and rage, Zemes eventually made that hate spill over into hate for all life on the Blue Planet and twisted him to want only power and to see it destroyed. When that happened, Zemes gave Theodor a new name…Darth Vader…sorry, no, wrong story…Golbez.

Basic Information:

– Real Name: Theodor (No last name)

– Half-Lunarian, half-human

– First-born of Kluya

– Commanded and befriended the Four Archfiends of the Elements

– Solely responsible for bringing entire world to its knees

– Greatest black mage in existence

– Nearly immortal

– Has only technically lost a single battle ever

– Lord of the Tower of Babel and all of its technology

– Name is an allusion to being a demon fly born from the carcass of a dragon

Golbez is one of the deadliest characters ever to appear in the vast world of Final Fantasy, even if he’s not terribly original in most respects. Truth be told, the fact that he conceals himself totally in black armor, speaks in a deep metallic voice, uses lightning as his primary weapon, and on top of all of that, is related to the hero means…yeah, he’s kind of a nod to a certain someone in another genre… Golbez is an expert black mage wielding power that no human can equal, which is not surprising as half of his genes are from a much more advanced life form. Not only that, but he is a competent commander and skillful manipulator, holding sway first over his own personal army of evil headed by four incredibly powerful demons, of all things, and later commanding the greatest nation in the world under the hand of a puppet ruler.

Yeah…but he didn’t get a Star Destroyer, though! Just some sailing ship that grew propellers…

Skills:

– Total mastery of advanced black magic

– Able to warp space and time

– Nearly unbreakable defense

– Life retention

– Competent with swords

– Ability to twist the will of others

– Skilled tactician

– Badass church organs play wherever he walks

That armor ain’t just there to look cool and ensure he can only get anyplace walking slowly neither. This dude is a tank. Dragoon jumps, monk fists, holy swords, and the most advanced black magic? Golbez don’t care. He’ll just pull a ‘black knight’ on the whole thing…only in his case it really is ‘just a flesh wound’. Even when a Paladin was slicing his blade into him it barely made him crack a smile. When the most powerful Sage in the world hit him with his strongest stuff, he just kind of sighed and looked at the time. Hell, even when he was smacked by the strongest spell in existence, he didn’t even take a knee. Just kind of got grouchy…

And even if you could break Golbez’s nearly flawless defense, it wouldn’t do much good. Golbez’s command over forbidden magic is so absolute he has the power to keep his own life force stirring in even the smallest intact part of his body. Once when the rest of him was destroyed, he managed to keep only his hand alive, teleport it out to safety, and then use the advanced technology of the Tower of Babel to regenerate the rest of his body from it.

Must’ve had that thing from “The Fifth Element”… Course, he rarely needs to bother with any of that as he can just teleport himself whenever and wherever he wants. That includes through most magic barriers and any physical obstacle so long as he’s close enough. He can do the same to other people too. Great at doing a ‘disappearing rabbit’ trick on people like Cecil’s sweetheart. Sweep his cape and one, two, three…presto! Girlfriend be gone! Too bad it don’t work on exes…

Golbez’s cleverness is about as sharp as his magic skill. At one point, he was effectively dictator of the Blue Planet. Using his own skill he managed to secretly take over the kingdom of Baron, the strongest nation in the world, then used its elite airships known as the Red Wings to move throughout the world to conquer the rest of it, both the kingdoms above ground as well as those below ground. All through calculated moves meant to hamstring his major opponents one after another. For example, knowing that summoners could rally against him, he tricked his own brother into sending in a cursed ring that unleashed a storm of Bomb monsters to burn it to the ground from the inside without ever producing a threat. He eliminated all of Fabul’s major warriors during a training mission so he could pick off the castle with ease, and even put planted double agents inside to aid in the endeavor. And rather than strike at the ninja kingdom of Eblan from above in the open, he had his lead general Rubicante send in forces from a secret passage in the ground and catch them unawares. He’s also decent with a dark blade, although, unlike his brother, he never mastered the Dark Knight signature “Darkness Wave” attack.

Yet his greatest power is likely in being a mind troll. Even though Golbez is nothing more than Zemes’ puppet through most of his evil-ry, turns out he can give as good as he got. He has the power to exert his will over enemies to make them freeze in place, incite them to attack him, and, most of all, make them give in to their hidden hates and desires to turn them into allies, as he did infamously with Kain Highwind not once but twice. Good! Goooood! Let the hate flow through you! Er…sorry, wrong genre again…

But most of all, of course, is his black magic.

Spells:

– Firaga

– Blizzaga

– Thundaga

– Bio

– Hold

– Flare

– Meteor

– Weak Summoning Magic

As you might expect from the greatest black mage in the world, Golbez knows all of the biggest and baddest. He’s mastered the ultimate level of the elementals. His Firaga causes flames to burst from the inside of his target and turn them into a pile of molten magma. His Blizzaga pierces with bone chilling cold before making monstrous icicles erupt from within. His Thundaga strikes with so much power that cast-off bolts radiate out from the sides of the intended target, and it’s his signature move. Anyone tries to get in his way he doesn’t feel like “humoring”, and all he needs is a cast the ol’ flash fryer to knock them away like so much puny Jedi.

Other lovely goodies he knows are Bio, which actually makes a fast-killing virus out of nothing more than raw magic energy to eat his opponents alive. He knows the paralysis spell of Hold but, unlike those puny monkey mages that can only do it one at a time, he just plain covers the field with it and kills you at leisure. He knows the badass Flare attack, which cuts right through to the inside of people to shove some of their molecules together in a nuclear fusion that causes a literal thermonuclear blast to go off inside of them…you know, instead of just…lighting them up with a roadside signal. And if that weren’t enough, he can actually do a touch of summoning in the form of dragons made of nothing more than his own pure darkness. Even that ‘Emperor of Hell’ guy from the second game can’t pull that off.

Last but certainly not least, Golbez has mastered the ultimate magic: Meteor. A spell so powerful that most humans would literally have to sacrifice a portion of their own lives in order to pull off a single casting…this spell opens a cosmic warp that rains down holy-powered meteors on their foes in an attack that negates any and all defense…er, other than ‘pure evil’, apparently.

It’s a black magic spell…that calls meteors…that are somehow holy? Guess it’s divine fire or something…

Weaknesses:

– Dark nature makes him easy to manipulate

– Vulnerable to summon magic

– Permanently unable to reach full potential due to corruption

– Fears mankind

– Moon phase impacts his power

Golbez is not without his weaknesses, however. All of that black magic he mastered came at the price of sacrificing most of the innate goodness and innocence he possessed, making him almost a purely dark-hearted individual. As a result, he’s easy to manipulate and control. It’s likely the only reason he was able to even stand against his former master was because FuSoYa was with him preventing him from being corrupted again, but his control over Golbez was so absolute FuSoYa had to sacrifice a deal of his own power just to get him to “wake up”.

He also might shrug off most spells and attacks…but don’t you dare call forth a chocobo on his ass. Eidolons operate on a natural different wavelength from humans or Lunarians. Think that whole thing with Superman and magic… Anyway, bottom line is Golbez can’t take a licking from summoned monsters. That’s the main reason he trashed Mist, the village of summoners, as soon as he could, why he didn’t risk picking a fight with the summoner Rydia even when she was just a child, and why he stopped trying to face Cecil and company head-to-head as soon as she rejoined them and proved she could nail his ass with a little mist.

Golbez might be powerful, but being a dark knight and one who has given himself up at least in part irreversibly to his own darkness, he can never reach his full potential against an evil opponent. They simply negate his worst against them. But that doesn’t really matter as Golbez, after witnessing the terribly destructive potential he had while under the control of Zemes and fully immersed in evil, refuses to use his full potential any longer and rarely allows himself to join with others. In fact, Golbez now fears mankind, refusing to show his face to them. Even when the rest of the Lunarians were likely destroyed and their moon consumed by Zeromus, the byproduct of Zemes’ hatred, Golbez still preferred to return and be destroyed by Zeromus rather than try to live among mankind again. If that wasn’t enough, Golbez has the annoying side effect where he comes from a world so intimately tied to the moon that the phase can literally make him weaker or stronger depending on what it looks like.

But at his worst, Golbez was one of the biggest bad dark knights of the Final Fantasy universe and one badass dark foe who doesn’t clad himself in darkness…darkness clads itself in him.

“Take this; my final gift to you!”

PRINCESS LUNA

Many generations ago, representatives of the three peoples united to establish a magical land filled with prosperity and enchantment, agreeing to share it together and make a world where the bonds of friendship reigned supreme…

…You’re talking about the ponies again, aren’t you? Damnit, for once I was hoping it was Middle-Earth.

To establish a lasting peace between the three previously-warring races of the earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns, the leaders of the three races turned to the rare, elusive, and mysterious race known as the alicorns.

What better dudes to make peace than someone who’s a fusion of all of you? It’s like a liger was elected to rule over lions and tigers.

The two alicorns elected to act as representatives of the newly-formed Equestria were a pair of foal alicorns named Celestia and Luna. In short order, the two were crowned “princesses” of Equestria even though they were intended to be purely figurehead rulers. That, however, only lasted a few years before it was discovered that the unicorn race was in danger of extinction, as they had to more or less sacrifice ten of them every day just to raise the sun and the moon.

Wait, they got to do that? Some magic land… Can’t even rotate on its own axis… Well, the two princesses thought that sh’t didn’t look too hard and stepped up, with Celestia the older one raising the sun while Luna the younger one lowered the moon. Turned out they were great at it. Heck, they even got brands seared into their flank flesh as a result! Er…sorry, ‘cutie marks’.

Following the event as well as increased roles as diplomat and arbitrator in conflict, both Celestia and Luna moved not only into more and more the roles of rulers of Equestria, but eventually became revered as gods; with Celestia representing the day and Luna representing the night. Unfortunately, there was a side effect to that.

All the ponies worked, ran around, laughed, played, ate, swam, sung, dance, conducted deals, bought wagons, etc. whenever it was day and the sun was out. And when it was night and the moon came out, the ponies…slept. Yup. That’s it. Apparently no video games in Equestria. So they were all awake to tell Celestia how awesome she was during the day while whenever Luna came out they were off sawing logs.

Seeing her older sister admired and both her nights as well as herself shunned by the populace of Equestria, Luna became jealous, and continued to grow more jealous until she became angry and finally hateful at Celestia. Allowing her own hate and rage to consume her, Luna was fully corrupted into a dark alter-ego named Nightmare Moon, and attempted to plunge Equestria into eternal night and destroy Celestia so that everyone would have no choice but to revere her. Unable to defeat her with her own power, Celestia had no choice to use the Elements of Harmony to imprison Moon in the…well, moon for one thousand years.

Well, a lot of ponies forget things after a thousand years… Doesn’t help that their great-great-great-great-great-great grandfathers are dead… So when Nightmare Moon popped back out after a thousand years those ponies were kind of caught off guard…all except for one bold, plucky, and daring nerd named Twilight Sparkle, who drug out the Elements of Harmony along with her new friends and zapped her a second time. Apparently this time they turned it from “Seal You Away For a Millennium” to “Heel Turn Face” mode, because once the smoke cleared Princess Luna was back and groveling and apologizing like Dr. Wily after a Rockman game. Since then, she’s back to doing her business with the moon and co-ruling alongside big sis. …Oh, and occasionally she still plays Nightmare Moon to scare the piss out of little foals. That’s ok. They like it.

Basic Information:

– Alternate Names: Nightmare Moon, Selene

– Younger sister to Celestia

– Unknown relationship to Prince Blueblood

– Adopted aunt to Princess Cadance

– Near immortal

– Guardian of dreams in Equestria

– Probably the strongest alicorn in existence

– Favorite princess among the younger generations in Equestria

That’s actually pretty accurate. Luna may still be feared by the older generation but she’s been embraced by the younger one. Unlike her older sister who interacts more with adult ponies, Luna connects more with the foals. She also definitely has the appearance of a “goddess” more than Celestia, appearing as dark and mysterious in most of her incarnations. What helps this is likely the fact she can pretty much pop into your dreams whenever she wants.

Gah! That’s creepy, dude! Don’t look in my ‘Teenage Fantasies Dpt.’! Of course, the real reason they all like her is simple…she’s a badass! In spite of the fact she’s the younger sister she could kick Celestia around like a dirty habit. Princess Twilight Sparkle is supposedly the best at magic, but we’ve never really seen if she could whip her in a fight. Again…she did go all DBZ in that fight with Tirek, but keep in mind that was when she had already absorbed Luna’s power…so that badassery there was likely coming from Luna the whole time.

Skills:

– Expert shapeshifter

– Power over dreams allows her access to secret thoughts, wishes, desires, and fears

– Possesses earth pony strength, pegasus flight, and unicorn magic

– Possesses alicorn magic

– Able to create and remove life from constructs at will

– Can split self into multiple forms

– “Royal Canterlot Voice”

Luna acts as the “Guardian of Dreams” in Equestria and normally she’s able to enter dreams to help ponies resolve hidden fears and issues; something she does to try and ensure that no one else is consumed by their fear and hate as she was. But that doesn’t change the fact that by entering dreams Luna gets a few look at all of the innermost secrets, desires, and fears of everyone in Equestria who sleeps.

She’s an alicorn which means she’s as tough and strong as an earth pony, can fly with the best of the pegasi, and can do all those nifty little Level One-through-Eight spells the unicorns do. And unlike Twilight Sparkle, it’s pretty clear she’s developed all of her abilities to their max potential. Plus she does stuff with her magic that nerdly unicorn only dreams of. She can bring things like bats and spiders to life out of any old crap she finds lying around and dismiss them just as easily. A cloak made out of living bats? Just the perfect accessory for her when she rides a badass silver chariot pulled by Harry Potter critters… She can even split herself into multiple independent forms if she wants, like she did when she turned herself into an entire team of “Shadowbolts”. And don’t you dare get in a shouting match with her. That’s one fight you won’t win. Her “Royal Canterlot Voice” is so epic is shakes her surroundings like a frickin’ hurricane blast.

Luna’s debatably greatest ability is to shift her form into whatever she likes. This occurs not only as a result of illusionary magic in dreams but in real life. She can turn on her armored monstrous form of Nightmare Moon whenever she wants, become other ponies, turn into something as innocuous as a thorn, or even become pure dark mist. Ever trying getting in a fight with fog? You can imagine how useful that would be.

Magic:

– Levitation Spell

– Teleportation Spell

– Alicorn Death Beam(?)

– Lightning Spell

– Storm Spell

– Able to move the moon and permanently control its path

And what would a kick-ass alicorn be without the power to f*** sh’t up with magic? Sure, Luna can do that basic crap any unicorn can do such as move stuff around and such, but she can do a hell of a lot more. As said above she can pretty much create life whenever she wants, but she’s also pretty good at teleporting herself around. She can command lightning bolts and raging storms to form whenever she wants and, just like the best of the rest, she’s able to fire off killer death beams from her horn to blow the crap out of things…like her own castle and her sister. Let’s also not forget the fact that she can move the moon whenever and however she wants…

As described in an earlier Death Battle, we can determine by simple interpolation that this action would make her roughly 134 times better at magic than unicorn Twilight Sparkle…which is reasonable to assume. When Nightmare Moon got in a brief “scrap” with her and she looked like she was trying to attack her, she merely rolled her eyes at the whole thing. Plus she’s able to defeat her sister with ease, and her sister moves the sun.

Weaknesses:

– Socially awkward

– 1,000 years behind the times

– Spends most days sleeping/away

– Powerless to the Elements of Harmony

But if you think Twilight Sparkle is awkward, she ain’t got crap on Luna. She might impress the kids with her…you know…ability to manipulate dreams and end nightmares and all, but adults still aren’t sure what to say to her whenever she’s staring them down, eyes flashing like moonlight and mane fluttering with stars in it… Damnit, she made me poetic. She may be able to bring crap to life but most people are scared when your make a cape out of living bats or turn a carnival attraction into tons of little red-eyed spiders that have no qualms about crawling right up to you. Sure doesn’t help that she’s 1,000 years out of date either, because apparently she was asleep or something that entire time she was stuck in the moon.

Due to her amazing magical ability and shapeshifting, Luna is quite the durable opponent. Especially since she’s stronger than her older sister. However, she’s still quite vulnerable to the Elements of Harmony. Her only two straight defeats ever both came as a result of being blasted by them. Yet Luna’s greatest weakness might be…daylight. Yes, even though Luna has been shown to be up and about during daylight hours before, she’s “the Princess of the Night”. She takes over ruling Equestria only when Celestia hits the hay. During the normal daylight period when things like rampaging dracoequises are out turning Ponyville upside down or armies of changelings are assaulting the city, she’s off…napping, I guess.

But those minor details aside, Luna has the strength, the magic, the sibling rivalry, and even the connection with the moon to give other dark-themed villains a run for their money.

“What’s wrong? Am I not princess enough for you?”

Alright, we’ve gone over the combatants, their strengths, and their weaknesses…

Look out! I see a bad moon rising! It’s time for a DEATH BATTLE!

(Open on a dark night with a large, full moon beaming down over a wide, desolate landscape surrounded by mountains and forests. It slowly pans over the sky. As the view moves down to the ground, it reveals Princess Luna looking up to it as her horn glows, slowly moving it.)

(Suddenly, “Golbeza Clad In The Dark” begins to play, causing her to cut off her horn and look forward. A pillar of darkness appears from the ground, and then breaks open…revealing the imposing and armored form of Golbez walking out to take the field. As he sweeps his cape behind him and aims his gauntlet at Luna, she snorts and hooves the ground, aiming her horn at him.)

FIGHT!

(At once, Luna fires her horn off again and again, shooting Golbez with one blast of magic after another. Golbez, in turn, simply stands there and lets each spell erupt against him as he crosses his arm and cape in front of him, doing very little.)

GOLBEZ: Such feeble spells.

(Snapping his hand out, he lets loose a blast of lightning at Luna. The princess quickly sweeps her horn around and generates a magic shield, but still gets blasted back rather badly from the intense power, being pushed around the ground… But as soon as the lightning ends, Golbez materializes behind her. She looks up in shock before his hand lashes out and slams his gauntlet into the back of her head, smacking her aside across the field. Quickly, Golbez teleports again in front of her and smashes her again before she can land, smacking her back the other way. He teleports and strikes her one last time to knock her into the ground.)

(Quickly, he braces himself to unleash a Blizzaga spell upon her, but as the icicles burst forth, her wings unfurl and quickly bear her into the sky. Her horn glows, and quickly envelops Golbez in energy. He looks around in surprise for a moment before he’s suddenly levitated into the air. The sky quickly becomes stormy and begins to fire off bolts of lightning, and one shoots out for Golbez, blasting him in the chest, causing him to wince and writhe a moment…but in the end only leaving smoke behind in his wake.)

GOLBEZ: Heh.

(He snaps out with a Thundaga spell that shocks Luna violently before sending her crashing to the ground again, while he casually lowers himself. He sweeps back his arm and begins to generate another spell, when Luna flings herself back up, full of rage.)

LUNA: Be STILL!

(The blast of her Royal Canterlot Voice causes Golbez to buckle and actually get blown back. Quickly, she uses the moment to have her eyes flare, before the wind around Golbez begin to pick up not only into a violent storm, but actually into a tornado. He looks around in surprise as he is suddenly yanked up into the air and flung around and around violently by the raw force, as Luna below sweeps it around more powerfully with each moment…)

(Giving a grunt, Golbez snaps his hand out and aims his gauntlet at Luna, and rings of multicolored light whip around her. Suddenly, the princess is frozen in place. Golbez crashes to the ground rather violently as the storm abates, but he snaps up easily enough and again brandishes his gauntlet.)

GOLBEZ: Shadow, come forth!

(His darkness oozes out of him and forms into a dragon made of pure darkness, red eyes gleaming and teeth gnashing hungrily. He gestures to go and devour Luna, and immediately the thrashing, violent beast bursts out and charges at her. Yet right before making contact, the horn glows again…and Luna suddenly turns completely into starry, black mist. It sweeps forward and envelops the Shadow Dragon, holds it a moment, as it stiffens and begins to writhe and twitch…then bursts into dozens of bloody pieces. Golbez is stunned.)

GOLBEZ: My dragon…defeated by mere mist?

(The shadow envelops Golbez next and quickly begins to tear into him, smashing and smacking him around in multiple ways, beating away at his armor the body beneath, and flinging away pieces of it occasionally while smacking him again and again. He vainly fires out lightning into it from time to time, but the shadow merely shifts and dissipates.)

(Finally, he grunts and fires off a Bio Spell on the area around himself. His own body is immune, but Luna cries out and spontaneously reverts back into her corpeal form as Golbez seethes, enveloping in darkness.)

GOLBEZ: Wait until you see the real terror…

(He draws his own sword and moves in, unloading a furious combo on Luna. Following that he unleashes another Firaga spell, blasting her with a series of flaming explosions. He follows up with a Blizzaga, spilling blood with more icicle spikes. After that, he knocks her away with a blast of Thundaga power across the field…which she manages to keep from finishing her by generating a magic shield. However, Golbez merely focuses and hits her with a Flare next. She tries to withstand it a moment…before her shield shatters and she’s sent flying into a pile of rubble.)

(Golbez whips himself up for the finish.)

GOLBEZ: Farewell.

(He unleashes the Meteor spell in all its glory. Cut to the sky as flaming rocks of death are ripped out of the heaven and fly down toward the pile of rubble with Luna in it. The largest one in the midst leads the way to annihilate the area…)

(When suddenly the sight vanishes into a puff of vapor. Golbez looks up in surprise at this, when phantoms appear before him of Cecil, Kain, Rydia, Rosa, and Edge. Letting out a gasp, he looks around in shock at this, before Cecil shoots forward and slashes out for him. Distracted, he manages to back up, but the others quickly assault him from all sides, yelling out curses and taunts of him and what he’s done. Golbez looks stunned by all of this and cringes in shame and agony. Finally, Cecil comes up into their midst and raises his sword, causing him to balk and move back. Yet before he strikes…Cecil evaporates…before Golbez’s own meteors come raining down on him. He’s shocked, but soon blasted horribly by the terrific power, most of his remaining armor shattered and the rest of him put into agonizing pain…)

(When the smoke clears, Golbez is slightly hunched and breathing hard, and looks up to the rocks…seeing Luna walking out, now turned into the form of Nightmare Moon.)

MOON: Remember this day…for it was your last.

(Golbez fumes and readies another Flare spell. Yet as he’s about to unload it, Moon’s horn flares and revolves the moon backward to a Waxing Moon. The Flare spell goes off, and dissipates harmlessly against Moon’s shield.)

MOON: You’re kidding, right?

(She fires off a beam of alicorn magic that rips Golbez off his feet and slams him back into a mountainside. Grunting and sore, he pulls himself off and unleashes his lightning…only for Moon to shoot forward, turn into mist to evade it, reform, and then smash him with a powerful blow. Soon she’s darting all around him, smacking him again and again, and this time he writhes and crumples under each blow. Finally, she smacks him especially hard and knocks him across the field. A disheveled, weakened mess…he groggily begins to get up, and glares hatefully at Moon as she lands. Quickly, he summons another Meteor spell against her…)

(But Moon responds by lighting up her horn…and moving the entire moon down to smash into him. The Meteors land against the moon instead and shatter harmlessly, and Golbez is left to gape in shock as the massive moon comes down and crashes into him…)

(Shot of the planet, showing a massive shockwave and blast of light coming out as the moon annihilates a huge portion of the planet. When the light dims down…a massive crater is left in it as if a giant took a bite out of a planet-sized cookie.)

(Back on the ground below, the dust slowly clears revealing a massive crater in the world…before Princess Luna flies back down to the ground and smiles at the camera.)

LUNA: How many points do I win?

KO!

Not another pony victory!

Alicorn, technically. It’s true that against Luna’s raw magic Golbez had the upper hand. He could stand up to everything Luna threw at him, including his own Meteor spell used against him. But…it’s important to note that Golbez is durable and strong, not invincible. Even the spells he shrugs off in the game hurt him. Just not as much as they should have. It’s also true that Golbez’s durability only lasts until something breaks it. After that, he takes pain far more easily. Once blasted by the Mist Dragon, Cecil, who couldn’t leave a scratch before, began to hurt him badly with his own sword strikes. And he pulled out rather quick after being hit by Tellah’s Meteor. While Luna might not have had a power of her own strong enough to rip through his, Golbez provided his own undoing by giving her meteors to work with, which have done well to trash him not once but multiple times.

And for those of you who think Luna couldn’t throw the world’s greatest black magic back in his face, keep in mind Luna has enough power to keep the sun from rising. The only way she can pull off that is by stopping the planet’s rotation. Assuming Equestria is on a planet that’s like Earth, which seems likely due to the physics of objects falling and the nature of flight and motion, then it would have roughly the same mass as Earth, which means Luna can stop 6 septillion tons without even breaking a sweat. Granted the Earth moves a lot slower than incoming meteors by about 1/25th, but assuming the meteors in Golbez’s spell have a mass of 10 tons, which is more than generous for the average meteor, Luna still is able to control something generating over a billion times the energy of that.

While Luna was susceptible to the Hold spell, unlike spellcasters in Golbez’s own universe, alicorns do not need to be able to speak or move to cast magic. Just their horns alone do all the work. And Luna can do more than turn into mist. She once seeped into an entire cliffside turned into mist yet exerted enough power to rip it completely apart and cause a rockslide. By comparison, the Shadow Dragon Golbez created to deal with Cecil and his company was destroyed by a single attack from one of Rydia’s weaker summons.

Golbez might have the ability to manipulate hearts with darkness, but only if they’re mostly consumed by it. When Luna was struck by the Elements of Harmony, her own darkness that could have been used against her was taken out, not just ‘put to sleep’. Golbez, on the other hand, is still haunted by all the crap he did when he was evil, and since he’s had nightmares about it, Luna knows all about his inner demons and could whip up an illusion of his own brother and former enemies to make him lose his nerve, leaving him wide open for the follow-up Meteor that shattered his defense. Finally…while Golbez might be able to stand up to a meteor shower, there ain’t gonna be anything left after getting bitch-slapped by the moon. Don’t think there’s even enough of him left to scrape into one of those urns on a mantlepiece…

The winner is…PRINCESS LUNA.

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