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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Reviews ~ IDW My Little Pony: Legends of Magic #7-#12: (Untitled)

08 Saturday Dec 2018

Posted by pcclsky in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ~ IDW Comic Legends of Magic Series, Uncategorized

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Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Dazzlings, Flash Magnus, Legends of Magic, Mage Meadowbrook, Mistmane, My Little Pony, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, opinion, Pillars of Old Equestria, review, Rockhoof, Somnambula, Sonata Dusk, Starswirl the Bearded, Stygian, Sunburst, the Dazzlings

Synopsis:

Following the events of “Shadow Play”, Sunburst is (cheerfully) preparing to rewrite all of his history notes based on the events he went through. Yet just as he is getting started, he gets a mysterious book and a note on his front doorstep, reading only that the individual wishes to tell his “side” of the story and signing it “S”. Guessing who it is, Sunburst digs in…

Stygian the unicorn was never brave, wise, magical, or considered himself a hero. He lived a quiet scholarly life studying the sea and looking to it for answers about where ponies came from. One day, however, he heard a voice calling to him from the sea and was surprised and delighted to find three “sea ponies”. The creatures introduced themselves as the Dazzlings and said they were sirens, and asked for his help in holding a concert in which everyone in the town could hear their voices. When Stygian hesitated, however, they suddenly grew vicious and angry momentarily, scaring him into running off. On looking at one of the guidebooks of his idol, Starswirl the Bearded, he discovered that while no one had ever seen a siren, he suspected that they thrived on the negative energy of others. Nevertheless, after calming down, he decided to research more about them and then meet with them again to see what he could learn about them, but first had to go and help with chores for a local elderly mare. Yet when she failed to return long after nightfall, Stygian went searching for her and found his entire town in the hypnotic grip of the Dazzlings, whose songs were driving them to fight with each other as they fed off the chaos that resulted. Being too far away for their song to hypnotize him as well, Stygian fled home but, not knowing what he could do, instead looked to his books and identified six of the greatest heroes of Equestria. He decided to recruit them to defeat the Dazzlings and set out to find them. After journeying for weeks, he finally arrived in a northern town at the edge of a volcano searching for the first on his list, only to find the villagers worried before suddenly falling into a hole that seems to appear out of nowhere. Not long after, however, a mighty stallion with a warshovel appeared to help him out.

Stygian recognized the pony as Rockhoof of the Mighty Helm, who was digging a new trench about the town in preparation for another volcanic eruption. Unfortunately, he seemed unable to help Stygian with his problem as Captain Steela needed his help with another problem: allowing a school of filter fish, which kept their water clean, to reach their destination while trying to fight off a swarm of lumber bears. The tasks seemed impossible as the river ran through a forest, where the lumber bears could rebuild themselves as soon as they were smashed. Stygian, however, got an idea to reroute the river around the forest, allowing the lumber bears to be defeated while sparing the fish. With Steela and Rockhoof helping him, he managed to enact the plan and help the town; and thereby got Rockhoof to willingly join him. Now with a companion, Stygian found the next leg of his journey much more bearable until they reached the swamplands of Equestria. Shortly after arrival, they were assaulted first by a vicious bunny and then a swarm of forest creatures, but were rescued by a blue pony in a bird mask. After mistaking her for a hippogriff, she removed it to reveal herself as Mage Meadowbrook. However, she declined to join the group as she needed to cure whatever was making the animals of the forest vicious first. When Rockhoof and Stygian offered to help, she initially declined based on how she had just saved them, but an off color remark by the two allowed her to realize that only the herbivores of the forest were going wild while the carnivores were hiding in fear of them–leading her to conclude the culprit was a local fungus affecting the plants. She returned to her home to start making a cure, but Stygian and Rockhoof soon found she wouldn’t have long to prepare it as the herbivores were massing for an attack.

To try and buy some time for Meadowbrook to finish her cure, Rockhoof barricaded the door with his own body while Stygian went upstairs; directed by Meadowbrook to use her potion collection to fend them off. The potions had mixed results at first, but eventually Stygian accidentally threw a strength-granting one that made the attacking bunnies a group of hulks. Fortunately, they broke in just as the cure was finished and Meadowbrook rapidly dispersed it to all the animals. The next day, Meadowbrook agreed to help out the group and they set off again. On the next leg of the journey, Rockhoof and Meadowbrook began to grow close to each other, but Stygian grew increasingly worried about the fate of his village. The group finally arrived at the training ground of the Royal Guard, where they were accosted by Royal Guard member Grimhoof. After “exchanging pleasantries” with Rockhoof, they asked if they could speak to the fastest of their order, Flash Magnus, only to find he was otherwise preoccupied with a a coming war…against the dragons.

Stygian broke up the epic battle between the pegasi and the dragons by shouting out his request to them. At first they ignored him, but Rockhoof got their attention again by taunting them until Flash Magnus went down to see what they wanted. While Stygian talked with him, however, Rockhoof had Meadowbrook talk to the dragons and got them to retreat by giving them a cure for their scale rot (which is why they were attacking Equestria in the first place). Freed of his need to protect the skies, Flash agreed to help the group, and on the way Rockhoof explained he didn’t know if Meadowbrook could have gotten the dragons to retreat, but counted on either her or Stygian being able to resolve the issue without a fight. Stygian also revealed that individual talents alone weren’t his sole reason for choosing the six heroes that he was looking for…that he suspected, in reality, they all had a special quality about them that made them important when united. The four made their way to Southern Equestria in search of Somnambula, but instead found a hoard of mummy ponies hungry for brains. Rockhoof, Flash, and even Meadowbrook leapt into the fray to try and beat them all off, but there proved to be too many until Somnambula quite literally dropped in. Seeing them as a group of legendary adventurers, she readily joined up with them without hesitation and explained that this was all happening due to one pony in particular bearing a cursed gem. The five quickly worked out a plan that made use of all of their respective abilities that allowed Somnambula to shatter it; revealing that the whole thing was a nightmare Prince Hassan was having when he accidentally put on an evil enchanted emerald from his enemies. The land saved again, she enthusiastically set out with the group for their next destination. Meanwhile, in a far distant garden and greenhouse, the unicorn Mistmane addressed her plants saying that she would need to leave them for a time soon, only to suddenly be eaten by one of her own massive flytraps.

On arriving at the greenhouse, the group found it locked from the inside. Rockhoof and Flash’s attempts to force their way in went rather badly, but in doing so they discovered the plants inside themselves were barricading the way. Getting an idea from that, Stygian and Meadowbrook used one of Meadowbrook’s own plant growth potions as a bribe to trick the plants into opening up, but Flash (still groggy from hitting his head trying to dash inside), accidentally revealed the deception and got them all assaulted by the monstrous plants. Fortunately, Stygian and Rockhoof were able to open the flytrap that ate Mistmane, who, on emerging, revealed the plants were just afraid to let her leave and calmed them all down into releasing the others. She further revealed she knew they were coming all along; that she detected a change was coming across Equestria. She also guided them correctly to the future site of Canterlot and the nearly-completed Canterlot Castle for the final member of their group: Starswirl the Bearded. As he was Stygian’s idol, he initially felt too humble and afraid to even address him, but with some coaxing from Mistmane he approached Starswirl. After first getting detracted by giving his personal account of what he thought of Starswirl’s focal figures in “Great Heroes of Equestria”, revealing how much love and admiration he had for all of them, Stygian finally managed to explain why he came and introduced the wizard formally to the other five.

Before beginning the final portion of the story, the narrator of the book again explains that he isn’t a hero, and that he should have followed a rule about being a scholar – “Never meet your heroes”.

Starswirl the Bearded was marveled to meet the legendary heroes of Equestria but almost immediately began to overlook Stygian. On hearing about the Sirens, he joined the group but almost instantly supplanted Stygian’s role as the unofficial leader. He refused to let Celestia and Luna know about the group’s existence as well, as he believed that they wouldn’t be there forever and the two girls would eventually have to rule Equestria without them. As Starswirl began to connect with the others and largely overlook him, Stygian’s feelings of inadequacy continued to grow, right down to the point where Starswirl cut him off in the middle of him formulating his plan to defeat the Dazzlings with his own. He further supplanted Stygian’s own theory about them all having something special about them with his own version of it, believing they represented Sorcery, Strength, Bravery, Hope, Healing, and Beauty, and represented the “Pillars” on which the power of Equestria was upheld–that united they could wield a power that was far greater than any one individual could. However, when the others asked what Stygian’s virtue was, he refused to believe he contributed anything to the group, and despite the others assuring him that he had put himself through danger time and again to bring them together and that the friendship he displayed was it’s own virtue, both Stygian as well as Starswirl refused to see any value in it. Starswirl ended up rejecting any plans to try and reason with or reform the Dazzlings, declaring that “ponies don’t change” and that they needed to be banished to a magicless dimension instead. After a long pause, Stygian decided again he wasn’t a hero and deferred to Starswirl’s judgment. As a result, he was forced to stand to one side and simply be a spectator for the climactic battle with the Dazzlings. Right as Starswirl managed to banish them, he was happy that he had saved his town…but also told himself he should have been fighting the battle as well. The story ended with Stygian discovering a way to give himself greater abilities by borrowing a bit from each of his six heroes.

The story over, Sunburst seeks out Stygian in the Crystal Empire, who, following his time as the “Pony of Shadows”, feels more weak and unheroic than ever. Sunburst, however, points out that Stygian brought the element of friendship to the group and says that, under a different set of circumstances, he could have been his generation’s “Twilight Sparkle”–something that brings tears to Stygian’s eyes. As the two walk off, Stygian admits he has other stories besides that journal about the Pillars of Old Equestria, and Sunburst proposes the interesting theory that, given all of his mess-ups, Starswirl the Bearded might secretly be the greatest villain in Equestrian history.

Review:

Now this is what I “paid to see”.

I considered “Shadow Play” to ultimately be a failure for all of its buildup due to a combination of factors. The one that impacted both it and the comic was the need to cater to a younger audience and thereby had to water down some of the stakes and relationships, but aside from that there was the fact that it had so much character overload that it ended up being mostly an exposition dump. Not just for the plot itself, but for the character relationships. Most of the Pillars of Old Equestria didn’t even get a chance to speak more than a couple lines, and Stygian himself was largely a plot device. Unlike a similar situation with Tempest Shadow, who managed to not only have some emotional buildup but managed to tell her story by showing the audience rather than orating it to them, everything was so thrown out at once that we had no chance to connect with any of the characters.

The nice thing the comic did, especially in this six-part miniseries, was not only get into greater detail about who the main characters were but actually formed some solid relationships between them, and ones that didn’t require the narrator to spell out.

Finally, in this comic, we get a sense of who Stygian was. In a sense, one can see him as the sort of reluctant hero or individual who needs to step out of his comfort zone and realize his own potential; sort of like a Bilbo Baggins type character. Just like the titular character in “The Hobbit”, Stygian initially doesn’t expect much out of himself and is content with his peaceful, quiet life. Yet when disaster forces him to be spurred into action, and he finds himself reluctantly going on an adventure, he gradually shows that that he does have a spark of true bravery and heroism in him.

The difference, however, is that unlike Bilbo, Stygian never realizes he has greatness inside himself. And one can attribute that difference from something like “The Hobbit” to Gandalf vs. Starswirl. Gandalf always saw “the spark” inside Bilbo, and he always treated him as if it was there even when Bilbo adamantly refused to believe it was. By comparison, Starswirl snuffs him out as soon as he begins. Whereas Gandalf eventually threw the burden of responsibility and leadership on Bilbo, knowing that he was ultimately capable of handling it even if he didn’t at the time, Starswirl seizes the role of leadership from Stygian just as it begins to become clear to him that he has that capability, and, through his actions, destroys what self-confidence Stygian has and leaves him forever feeling “less” than the Pillars of Old Equestria…completely forgetting he was the one who gathered them together. Having no faith in himself, he stands aside and lets the history books erase him even from the footnotes and his “idol” gets all the glory.

In a way, this is probably one of the more mature ways the series as a whole has ever portrayed a “villain”. Starswirl the Bearded is often called a jerk in the main series, and with some good reason. Here…you can’t really blame him. He’s an individual used to everyone always looking to him for answers and wisdom. He’s a wizard who’s accustomed for everyone to come to with problems they need solving. There are a few moments in the last issue where, if Stygian had more confidence in himself, he might have changed his mind. He didn’t, however. He kept repeating a mantra of self-depreciation and failure: “I am not a hero”. As a result of this, it’s mostly another mark against the Pony of Shadows. The hate and animosity he built up against Starswirl was, in fact, partially his own fault. He blamed Starswirl for what was essentially his own feelings of inadequacy. And even at the end of the six-part series, Stygian still doesn’t quite believe there’s anything to him even when Sunburst says that he’s the same kind of individual Twilight Sparkle herself is.

To sum up, the series does everything that the main series tried to do with Stygian in 44 minutes: it establishes his character from when he was still a good pony who nevertheless never had enough faith in himself, it shows that his corruption was partially due to external factors and relationships, but it also does not fully absolve him of his own role in his own corruption. In doing so it takes him from being a friendship plot device to a genuine character you actually care about.

That was the main thing that was good about this arc. There are other good things, but…they’re watered down by other factors.

This comic is now likely the “canon” introduction to the Dazzlings in their original forms, usurping the rather comedic, tongue-in-cheek version from the “FIENDship is Magic” series. It works well in establishing how, even in their native forms, they prey on the innocence and friendliness of their victims; relying on the natural inclusiveness and friendship of ponies to seize upon them. It also clearly shows this is all nothing more than deception toward their truly vile and hate-filled natures, as when Adagio snaps viciously at Stygian when he hesitates. However, it makes Aria and Sonata pretty much carbon-copies of Adagio as well. Aria’s more hostile personality is omitted as is Sonata’s cluelessness.

One opportunity that this arc had was for the Pillars of Old Equestria to finally be seen in relation to one another, getting a chance to dig into their personalities and teamwork and interactions with each other. And it seized upon it…a little. Rockhoof is shown to be something of a mixture of Applejack and Thor. He definitely has a bit of an ego about his own athletic prowess and feats but not an overbearing one, and, just as Stygian says, he has a nice vibe with him that looks like an older-brother/younger-brother dynamic. And that’s great, because that’s something the show has never touched on before except extremely briefly in “Marks and Recreation” with Thunderlane and Rumble. Mage Meadowbrook is also good. In spite of her caring personality, she shows she also has a touch of personal pride and ego about herself. Like Fluttershy, she prefers to work alone and without involvement of others, explaining her isolation, but not from a perspective of being naturally shy and timid around others. Quite the contrary, she actually is very self-sufficient and independent and actually has a bit of tomboyishness to herself as well as a desire to prove herself, but none of it is overbearing or in your face as her character. And, of course, the romance they hinted at between her and Rockhoof was a really nice touch that I really wish the main series had rolled with in “A Rockhoof and a Hard Place”.

Yet after those two, the series starts suffering from the same thing the main series did: character overload. As more Pillars of Old Equestria got introduced, less time was devoted to them and their relationships. Flash Magnus has a bit of a nice attitude in spite of his own ego, but other than him puffing himself up in a Rainbow-Dash-like manner we never see much of it. Somnambula is pretty much in her own little domain most of the time, much like Pinkie Pie. And Mistmane fulfills the role of most of the sage-ly types you find in this kind of group and is pretty much just there to look wise and mysterious. Stygian even says the only thing about her is her mere presence is calming, rather than anything she says, does, or how she acts. Neither this arc nor her stand-alone ever draws attention to the fact that Mistmane is not an elderly pony…she merely looks that way as a result of the spell she performed. Mentally, she should not only still be in the prime of her life but still have a more youth-orientated world view.

The biggest disappointment, however, and what ruined the potential for the group to be shown interacting with each other was the fact that the entire series was merely building up to the Pillars of Old Equestria’s first major challenge: defeating the Dazzlings. Not only was this already seen in the main series, it eliminated the chance to see them working as a group or team on any other threats they could have encountered in original stories. Granted, this was something of how it had to end since it was mostly about Stygian and how he faded into the background once Starswirl joined, but it was another possibility that had to be eliminated in the end.

In conclusion, there was a lot to like in this arc, but not as much as there could have been. It did its main job well and much better than the main series, but as for all the “side quests”, so to speak, it only managed to pick up some of them. The ones it did do were done so well, however, that it increased the feeling of disappointment that it couldn’t cover everyone.

Nevertheless, a good arc and, in my opinion, one of the more solid ones in the entire series, and a chance for the IDW writers to shine.

On one final note, one thing that this series failed to do was enhance the prestige of the Pony of Shadows at all. He had considerable buildup in both the comic and the main series, but when push came to shove he was an even bigger letdown than King Sombra ended up being. I had entertained some hope that the comic could fix that issue. This arc failed to do that, but as it turned out there was one entry left that would…

Fun Facts:

Stygian’s appearance in the comic is slightly different from that on the show, making him a bit “cuter”. To emphasize looking weak and unremarkable, on the show he had more of a body type akin to Snails with smaller pupils. In the comic, his neck is thicker, his eyes are larger, and his head isn’t quite as elongated, making him more similar to other characters.

The appearance of the Dazzlings in this arc effectively retcons “FIENDship is Magic #3” completely. The original story in that one was radically different from how they entered Equestria and encountered Starswirl the Bearded. See my review for details.

Ms. Malus, the Latin word for apple, is likely an ancestor of Applejack’s family.

Stygian spells out his logic for his selections for the group throughout the story. Rockhoof’s job is to hold off the worst of the hypnotized ponies. Mage Meadowbrook’s job is to break the hypnotic spell. Flash Magnus’ job is to serve as a diversion to the Dazzlings. Somnambula and Mistmane’s jobs were to provide their own brand of unconventional wisdom.

In referring to taking on a challenge, Rockhoof says: “Remember the oat boat?” That was the first eating competition Rockhoof won in his stand-alone “Legends of Magic” comic.

The attack of the rabbit might be a reference to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail”.

“Every good party needs a healer!” Basic RPG Logic. 😛

A “William Wallace” bunny breaks into Mage Meadowbrook’s house.

Somehow, Meadowbrook has spray bottles in spite of the time period. Also, in true Southerner fashion, she treats Stygian and Rockhoof to lemonade and rocking chairs.

Mage Meadowbrook mentions she stopped traveling after she ran into a town of zombie ponies, a reference to her own stand-alone “Legends of Magic” comic.

When Rockhoof is trying to remember Flash Magnus’ name, he throws out various “pony-fied” names of individuals who were the Flash of DC Comics. (Such as “Mare E. Allen” = Barry Allen.)

Flash Magnus tends to act a lot like Rainbow Dash, having something of an ego and being raring and eager to go into the first sign of a battle. However, this is perfectly canon considering the fact in “Shadow Play” the two hit it off so well they pretty much imitated each other.

When bombarding the fake mummies, Somnambula yells “Stay on target!”, an allusion to “A New Hope”.

Flash Magus nicknames Somnambula: “Cleopatrot”.

Somnambula is worried the site of Canterlot Castle might have snakes around, a reference to her own stand-alone “Legends of Magic” comic.

When Stygian meets Starswirl the Bearded and says he read his book about “Great Heroes of Equestria”, he mentions that he made Somnambula sound “a bit stuffy”. This might be a subtle way of trying to harmonize the IDW comic portrayal of Somnambula and the main series version by explaining the reason she didn’t act more silly and cheerful in “Daring Done?” was because that wasn’t actually Somnambula but rather Starswirl’s interpretation of her.

Celestia and Luna briefly reveal they can pull off the same instant teleportation that Twilight Sparkle is infamous for.

Rockhoof states that there’s actually been several “warshovels”, saying the first was ruined by the cherufe in his stand-alone comic.

Somnambula nearly says “friendship is magic”, but in the end says “friendship is…not nothing”.

The fateful moment in which Stygian is told to decide what is to be done about the Dazzlings mirrors Twilight Sparkle’s own moment in which she had to choose to follow Starswirl’s advice or try and save Stygian in “Shadow Play”, only Stygian elected to go with Starswirl.

Rating:

4 Stars out of 5

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Reviews ~ My Little Pony: Fiendship is Magic #3: “The Sirens”

15 Saturday Aug 2015

Posted by pcclsky in My Little Pony: Fiendship is Magic, Uncategorized

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Tags

Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, Dazzlings, Fiendship is Magic, IDW, IDW comic, My Little Pony, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, opinion, review, sirens, Sonata Dusk, Starswirl the Bearded

Synopsis:

In ancient Equestria, the Sirens, Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk, are wandering from town to town in Equestria, using their voices to inspire chaos and disharmony and feeding off of what results. After being a “success” in numerous towns, they elect to go on to Canterlot for the big score and enter a music competition. Much to their surprise, they’re immediately booed out for using obsolete tunes. Retiring to their hotel, Adagio and Aria argue over creating a new more modern musical style while Sonata tries out bubble gum. After blowing her first bubble and giving a large “pop”, Adagio gets the idea from that to create “pop music”. This new music turns the jewels on their chests red and is a resounding success, spreading chaos throughout Canterlot and making them sensations. The only one not affected is a young unicorn wizard, Starswirl the Bearded. To try and counter them, he writes his own music and competes against them in their next performance, soon launching the “Music Wars” in which most genres of music in Equestria were created as a result of the Sirens and Starswirl trying to outsing each other. However, Starswirl is beaten every time, and so he finally resorts to using magic. Unable to defeat the Sirens in his own world, he tries banishing them into a world without magic using his newly finished magic mirror; admitting in his personal journal that his greatest failure was not finding a way to stop them in Equestria. Meanwhile, in the world on the other side of the mirror, the Sirens arrive and are shocked to see themselves turned into humans, but more shocked to be in a world without magic to feed on. Adagio, however, discovers they have just enough magic left in their pendants to continue to feed from the new city they’re in…

Review:

This is another arc I’m kind of left scratching my head about. Mostly because it’s rather hard to take it seriously. In “Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks”, the backstory of the Sirens/Dazzlings sounded rather heavy and intense. In here it’s rather goofy and silly, especially the “Music Wars” bit with the Sirens and Starswirl inventing all sorts of new genres. Not to mention the silliness of how “pop music” was discovered is something that belongs in an episode of “Animaniacs”. True, it does what the last story failed to do…namely shows the origin of the Dazzlings…but it does so in such a silly way. I mean, I’ll admit the Dazzlings were rather weak villains but they did have an air of malevolence around them. As the Sirens, they’re more cartoonish.

Still, this is likely the only look we’ll ever get at how the Dazzlings looked like and acted in their “original forms”. I thought it was kind of silly that they’re able to freely “float on air” when in the backstory Twilight Sparkle read it looked as if they had to stay in the ocean. And there’s not a whole lot new to their origin that wasn’t already explained either. Plus, the story had enough sense to show Equestria in the past…only for the Sirens to arrive in the human world in the modern day. Shouldn’t they also be in that world’s past?

Finally, the story fails to do the one thing “Rainbow Rocks” needed to do: make the Dazzlings more distinct. Even Sonata seems more like Aria in this one rather than her stupid, clueless self. Now the only defining characteristic is “the yellow one calls the shots”.

Overall, the biggest reason this story fails is because it doesn’t know whether it wants to be serious or comedic to me. If it wanted to be comedic, it should have gone “all out” and made it like the goofier main series arcs. If it wanted to be serious, it needed to be that from the get-go. Because it does neither, we get something in between that fails to hit as hard as it should on either end.

Fun Facts:

This arc is possibly the only look we’ll ever get at how the Dazzlings went around in their original forms. Apparently, they could live freely on land and ponies didn’t really care they went around floating everywhere. 😛

Ancient Equestria is like ancient Greece…only apparently with bubble gum(?).

Starswirl the Bearded had previously appeared in the “Reflections” arc and looked dramatically different, namely because the first indication of how he truly appeared in the series appeared after that arc came out with “Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks”. He matches that appearance fairly well. However, this doesn’t necessarily ruin his previous appearance as this was supposed to happen while Starswirl was still young, and “The Journal of the Two Sisters” revealed Starswirl had the power to increase or decrease his physical age as a result of his experiments with the magic mirror.

Toward the end, Starswirl writes that if he had “some quality of magic”, maybe he could have reformed the Sirens. What they’re talking about is likely from the end of Season Three: the magic of friendship. Does that mean the comic writers are planning a “reformation arc” for the Dazzlings? Time will tell…

Rating:

1.5 Stars out of 5

Honest Trailer: “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ~ Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks”

08 Saturday Nov 2014

Posted by pcclsky in Honest Fake Trailers, Uncategorized

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Tags

Adiago Dazzle, Applejack, Aria Blaze, Battle of the Bands, comedy, Equestria Girls, Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks, Fluttershy, Honest Trailers, My Little Pony, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, parody, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Rocks, Rarity, Sonata Dusk, Sunset Shimmer, the Dazzlings, Twilight Sparkle

(The following is a knock-off of “Honest Trailers”, which is by Screen Junkies on Youtube. Go watch them for great “Honest Trailers”.)

From HASBRO…

A company that is apparently feeling threatened by Mattel’s “Monster High” and “Ever After High” series…

Comes a sequel nobody wanted…to a movie nobody wanted…about a theme fanfiction writers have handled better…in a universe that has nothing to do with Equestria…featuring a plot used before…designed to sell merchandise that routinely gets criticized for being “creepy” and “not age appropriate”…

(Deep breath)

MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC ~ EQUESTRIA GIRLS: RAINBOW ROCKS

(Panting) Damn…that title has Stage IV “Colon Cancer”…

Return against your will to CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL…which features all the fun, cliqueness, hierarchy, and popularity contests of high school with none of the classwork…

Seriously, when’s the last time anyone has been seeing taking a quiz in that school?

Or…security measures for that matter…

Go ahead! Let the students show up to school one day and sleep in the library! I’m sure they aren’t setting homemade pipe bombs or anything…

For another amazing adventure with your favorite characters turned into humanized forms…

Er…provided Photo Finish, Trixie, and DJ-Pon-3 were your favorite characters. Anyone else and you’re kind of in for a disappointment.

In a world where hundreds of fanartists have turned in amazing concept-art for what the Mane Six would look like as humans, buckle in for Hasbro’s shameless attempt to mimic other toys with abnormal, malformed, clearly-doll-shaped characters who look like they were mutant births from the “Doug” universe…

And enjoy the sequel to a movie whose plot was a ridiculous rip-off of Carter Bryant’s live-action “Bratz” film…with a movie whose plot is a ridiculous rip-off of Hasbro’s own “Jem” series.

I mean, give me a break… This movie seems like a rejected pilot for a series reboot.

Witness the film that features “My Little Pony” in the title…and includes roughly five minutes of actual ponies…

And features “Rainbow Rocks” in the title…although Rainbow Dash is a relatively unimportant character.

See how things left off in the previous film with SUNSET SHIMMER struggling to make friends and facing being a social outcast for her past misdeeds…

…Although…for…some reason…Snips and Snails aren’t social outcasts at all.

Trouble soon arrives in the form of a trio of deadly sirens from Equestria known only as THE DAZZLINGS…

Seriously, they’re known only as “the Dazzlings” for the most part. You won’t even know what their real names are unless you pay attention to the opening credits. And I bet you still get Aria and Sonata mixed up, don’t you?

Who represent a triple-slap to the face for everyone who wanted to see a humanized version of the series’ better villains as they cause discord and unrest among people (Discord), hypnotize students into acting a certain way and feed off of the emotional energy that results (Chrysalis), and absorb the power of the Mane Six to turn into ultimate forms (Tirek), yet have none of the personality or charisma of those three and are essentially the series’ greatest character-lacking villains since Nightmare Moon…

Ugh…where’s John DeLancie when you need him…

And essentially the only interest in them as individuals comes from the fact one is stupid.

ADIAGO: (Sarcastically) Oh no! No one is mingling! It’s like there’s some kind of underlying tension that could bubble to the surface at any minute!

SONATA: It’s the fruit punch, isn’t it? I knew I used too much grape juice!

…Where’s Boulder? I need to smack my head against something.

When the three weave a spell over Canterlot High School in an attempt to feed on Equestrian magic to regain their true power after a thousand years…

…Which doesn’t seem necessary because they aren’t able to feed off of Equestrian magic until the very end of the film and yet they start regaining their “old power”, by their own admission, earlier than that…meaning they’ve been wasting time for 1,000 years…

It’s up to Sunset Shimmer to use a convenient plot device to get in touch with PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE…

Who will resolve the main plot device from the first movie about the Crystal Mirror opening and closing only once every two and a half years in about “two minutes” using magic science…

And will show up to take about forty to forty-five minutes to realize the solution to the problem is something she was shown on a camera phone when she first returned to Canterlot High School as she makes the same mistakes she did in both “Friendship is Magic” and “The Return of Harmony”…

Think she’d have learned after becoming an alicorn…

And unnecessarily tries to hide the fact that she and the girls have Equestrian transformations from the Dazzlings…something that everyone in school already knows and saw during the Fall Formal and probably would have told the Dazzlings about at one point…while also unnecessarily holding off using the spell on just the Dazzlings for the pointless reason that they somehow need to hit everyone at once with it rather than just simply getting the “stragglers” individually so that the movie has a reason to have the Rainbooms perform in a concert.

And you thought the reasoning behind Twilight Sparkle needing to become Princess of the Fall Formal was a stretch.

Prepare yourself for the most shocking takeover of a series by a single relatively unimportant character since Wolverine became the biggest character out of the X-Men…

As RARITY, APPLEJACK, FLUTTERSHY, RAINBOW DASH, and PINKIE PIE become purely “placeholding” characters…

And a rather uninteresting, uninspired, bitchy villain who was nobody’s favorite and who’s sole moment of “awesome” was when she turned into a succubus at the end of the first movie…

Suddenly is transformed by the power of friendship into your favorite heel-turn-face character since Princess Luna and the single most important character in the movie as she…

Is the first to recognize something is up with the Dazzlings…

Provides the journal that allows the girls to contact Princess Twilight Sparkle…

Recognizes what the bad guys’ plan is long before everyone else…

Has an…admittedly-good…heart-to-heart with Twilight Sparkle that shows how much she parallels her…

Causes the group to reconcile…

And ultimately saves the day before becoming Twilight Sparkle’s character from the start of the main series.

SUNSET: (Writing) “Dear Princess Twilight…”

Sure this movie shouldn’t have been called “Sunset Rocks”? Heck, look at the promo art. Sunset Shimmer is way in the back. Talk about the biggest bait-and-switch since “the Mandarin”…

See how many obvious influences Megan McCarthy, the biggest “otaku” out of the series writers, was exposed to in the finale as you see…

The Mane Six undergo Japanese-style “Magical Girl” transformations…

Defeat the Dazzlings in a situation virtually identical to the fifth and sixth Evil Exes from “Scott Pilgrim vs. The World”…

And essentially reenact a missing script to a “Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon” movie…

…But, on the plus side, you get a bone thrown to you with less Flash Sentry…

Witness the movie that bronies everywhere slammed, hated, condemned and refused to shell out so much as a single dollar to see in theaters…and then immediately went to pirate it online when they thought no one was looking.

Come on…you know you did. Don’t lie to me.

STARRING…

The Chibi-Usa Character Archetype from every “Sailor Moon” plotline… (Sunset Shimmer)

The Misfits… (The Dazzlings)

Edward Cullen, only as unpopular as the real Edward Cullen should be… (Flash Sentry)

Those one-shot villains from Season One… (Humanized Diamond Dogs)

The characters people wrote in to complain the most about not being in more of the first movie… (Trixie Lulamoon and Derpy Hooves)

Daft Punk… (Rarity’s costume)

Super Pony-Jin Level 2… (The Mane Six transformed at the end)

And Priest Helios’ ultimate form. (The giant magical alicorn)

“MY LITTLE PONY: FR…” UGH, FORGET IT. “RAINBOW ROCKS.” THERE. THAT’S PLENTY.

(Viewing end credits scene)

As much as the idea of Twilight Sparkle as the villain in the third installment intrigues me, the fact that this movie also rips off of the Marvel Movie Universe confirms there’s not an original idea left in it.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Reviews ~ Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks

18 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by pcclsky in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Reviews, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ~ Equestria Girls, Uncategorized

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Tags

Adagio Dazzle, Applejack, Aria Blaze, Dazzlings, Equestria Girls, Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks, Flash Sentry, Fluttershy, My Little Pony, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, Pinkie Pie, Rainbooms, Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Rocks, Rarity, sirens, Sonata Dusk, Sunset Shimmer, the Dazzlings, the Rainbooms, Twilight Sparkle

Synopsis:

At Canterlot High School, Sunset Shimmer is an outcast after everything she’s done, with her only friends being the other members of the humanized Mane Six, who have formed a band: the Rainbooms. In an attempt to befriend students before they have a chance to learn about her past, she escorts three new students, Adagio Dazzle, Sonata Dusk, and Aria Blaze, around the school, but it soon is clear something is up when the trio (the Dazzlings) sing to the school, getting the students to turn against each other and apparently absorbing all of the discord that results. Sunset and the girls are unaffected due to the Equestrian magic they possess, but everyone else is, including the principal and vice principal, who change the upcoming Musical Review into a “Battle of the Bands” after being hypnotized by the Dazzlings. They suspect the three are using a form of evil magic and that they need Twilight back to defeat them by using magic of her own. Sunset remembers she had a book that, when written into, would display the resulting message in a matching book in Celestia’s possession, and for the first time in years writes to her asking for help.

As it turns out, Princess Twilight Sparkle now has the book and moved it into her new palace in Ponyville (following the end of Season Four). She gets the message and realizes the Dazzilngs are actually Sirens: merpony-like creatures who sing to turn creatures against one another and then feed and grow stronger off of that discord, causing a feedback loop that eventually allows them to take over completely. She uses a combination of magic and science to rig up the book to the mirror and create a way to open and close it at will, allowing her to return to the human world with Spike. She goes with the others to school and attempts to unite with the girls to stop them right then and there…but nothing happens. Rainbow Dash reveals their “Equestrian forms” only now appear while they’re singing in their band. They encourage Twilight to write a counter-spell/song that they can use to break the charms of the Dazzlings at the Finals of the upcoming Battle of the Bands, when all students are listening.

Unfortunately, Twilight is unable to think up a spell in spite of all of the girls expecting her to succeed by default. Meanwhile, Sunset is still upset that everyone expects her to be evil by default…and the two realize they’re more alike than they originally thought. The competition begins and the Rainbooms are able to get through to the finals, but the Dazzlings, realizing that the girls are immune to their charm, figure out that they are the source of the Equestrian magic and enchant everyone into being their enemies and frustrating them at every turn. While playing in the semifinals against Trixie’s group, the Dazzlings manage to start affecting the girls and get Rainbow Dash to grandstand, nearly bringing out their Equestrian forms right there. Sunset Shimmer, fearing it will tip the Dazzlings off to their power, breaks up the performance by force, earning the anger and hate of the school again as well as the Mane Six. Surprisingly enough, the girls still win the semifinals to go on to the finals. Enraged at her stolen victory, Trixie imprisons the girls under the stage and performs in their stead.

The girls start fighting amongst themselves over everything that’s gone wrong as the Dazzlings get out to perform, and Sunset Shimmer realizes the Dazzlings set this all up, including getting Trixie mad at them by ensuring her snubbing, so they could be here and fight and be a source of “food” for them. She gets the girls to reconcile, and Twilight realizes they don’t need a specific “counter-spell”; they can just sing anything and it will have the desired effect so long as their friendship is behind it. After being broken out by Spike (with help from humanized Vinyl Scratch/DJ-Pon-3, who was immune to the Dazzlings due to her headphones), the girls erect an opposing stage and perform just as the Dazzlings absorb enough power to yield their true forms. A literal “Battle of the Bands” breaks out but, although the Mane Six take Equestrian forms, they’re still unable to prevail, so Twilight encourages Sunset to join in with them. Finally feeling like “one of the group”, Sunset transforms into Equestrian form as well and becomes a “seventh element”, allowing the group to use an enhanced version of the Elements of Harmony to break the spell and shatter the power of the Dazzlings, rendering them tone deaf and harmless.

Twilight returns home, but Sunset now becomes a full member of the Rainbooms and finally begins to earn the friendship of the other students. With the two world’s permanently connected due to Twilight’s machine, Sunset begins an open communication with Twilight back in her world, starting off her letters: “Dear Princess Twilight…” The real human version of Twilight Sparkle is confused at everything that’s happened over the two movies.

Review:

As you may have seen in my other post, “Everything Wrong With ‘My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic – Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks”, I nitpicked this movie quite a bit. And, to be honest, in some ways this movie is a step or two backward from the first. Particularly the plot. The whole setup by the Dazzlings to get the Mane Six where they want them to absorb their power is practically a Gambit Roulette. And, like many McCarthy episodes, the episode focuses on one or two protagonists while the other members of the Mane Six are essentially just a “unit”, similar to how Merry and Pippin in “The Lord of the Rings” movies were a unit until the final film.

What makes it worse in this one is that Twilight Sparkle herself is beginning to “merge with the unit”…because, let’s be honest, the main character in this one was Sunset Shimmer. While the promotional material managed to shove her to the sidelines, even going so far as to have her only standing on the sidelines or in the background as a “roadie” or “side character”, she ultimately became the most important character in this movie.

Also, the movie relies on a mixture of plot devices and stupidity to keep the plot moving forward. The plot made the girls conceal their power from the Dazzlings when it’s clear the Dazzlings would have known about it already because everyone else in the school did, plus they even reveal they know Sunset Shimmer’s back story so naturally they would know how she was defeated. Conversely, everyone in the school should know how much Twilight did for them already and that they can trust her, although the show does have the excuse that the Dazzlings may have already brainwashed everyone into distrusting her and the Mane Six. (The school does go from mere distrust of Sunset Shimmer to outright dislike only after they start hypnotizing people.) The plot on one hand is simplistic considering how much of it is filled with just singing, while overly complicated on the other hand with the Gambit Roulette used to trap the Mane Six. Trixie appears to be in the plot just as fanservice.

Finally, the villains are dull. In a way, they’re kind of the mirror image of King Sombre from Season Three. Sombre was pretty bland but ultimately did very little in the show itself, making him a weak villain. By contrast, the Dazzlings actually do get the chance to “be evil” quite a bit and even a serious threat, but ultimately fail due to lack of personality other than “generic evil teenager archetype”. The only way they’re able to insert any personality into them is by having Sonata “be stupid”, which is a rather clunky way to do things. Having little other personality, they’re essentially big MacGuffins, which is a step back from Sunset Shimmer.

So yes, the movie did take a few steps back.

All of that said…I think it took even more steps forward. I liked it better than the original.

For one thing, Flash Sentry has been (mercifully) reduced even more to the plot. He’s almost to the point where any of Twilight’s attraction to him seems both forced and awkward, but as a fan of the show without him I can’t complain. There was more fanservice in including humanized versions of characters, but more importantly they allowed the characters to “be themselves” more than in “Equestria Girls”, where the majority of the focus was on the humanized Mane Six.

The plot is a bit simplistic with a poor setup and bland villains, yet it still manages to stay “engaging”. Whereas before in “Equestria Girls” the idea of a “pony in a human world” was supposed to be funny in its own right as Twilight tried to adjust, in this movie the setting is used to make the situation a bit more realistic, such as at the slumber party, without losing the magic all together. The end result is you get more character and “depth”. While the villains may not have been charismatic themselves, the final battle was again good (even if it wasn’t as extreme as a demon).

But far and away the best thing about this film is the relationship between Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle. Let’s be honest, Sunset Shimmer is a far cry in this movie from the villain she was in the original, yet there’s still enough “hooks” to make the audience believe she is indeed the same person. And similar to how Princess Luna was done in “Luna Eclipsed”, she ends up being remarkably dynamic as she struggles to give herself a “kinder, gentler image” and frequently gets frustrated, both in being constantly haunted and reminded of her past (even by her new friends) as well as being too afraid to “be normal”.

Yet what’s even better is that scene in Pinkie Pie’s kitchen, where Twilight and Sunset share a few moments together, and, as much to my surprise as that of the two of them, they realize that they’re closer to each other than they think. It was clear in the first movie that they were “two sides of the same coin”, not only from the name and background, but now they discover they’re more close to one another besides “one choosing good; one choosing evil”. They both suffer from everyone expecting them to be one thing the moment they see them. And whether that’s expecting one to be good or expecting one to be evil, it’s still a stereotype that they hate to have to deal with. That’s one of my favorite scenes in the series.

And it’s really a great moment at the end when Sunset Shimmer manages to conquer her own self-hate and doubt, the thought that she was never really a good enough person to be like the Mane Six, and join up with them to become a “seventh” Element of Harmony. It’s very similar to how Luna is able to “rise” in the second story arc of the IDW comic, which was a fantastic story to begin with. To say that Sunset Shimmer “stole the show” in this second installment is an understatement, but really the writing made her such an appealing character in this movie that it’s something you don’t mind seeing.

Last but not least, this is a great way to cap off Season Four because it marks how Twilight Sparkle has “completed the journey”. She’s gone from student to hero to princess to goddess…and now she’s finally in the roll where she started, with a student of her own who looks to her for guidance and encouragement. That was a great way to end things.

So, in short…I’ll admit it, this was actually a decent film and a pretty good entry in the franchise. Similar to how you only could appreciate the Season Four finale by watching the somewhat subpar “Keep Calm and Flutter On”, you can only really appreciate this entry if you watch “Equestria Girls” first. But so long as you end up with something good, it still ends up enjoyable.

I actually recommend this one a little.

Fun Facts:

Again, I hit all of these in my “Everything Wrong With”. The only thing I could add is there was a cut scene involving the humanized Flim-Flam Brothers as well, and Sunset Shimmer sounds far older than the rest of the girls, which was the same in the original “Equestria Girls”.

One of the key aspects of Trixie Lulamoon’s design is she’s one of the only characters on the show who has a single waterspot in her eyes, unlike the girls who have two and the CMCs who have three. In this movie, she got upped to the standard two in some shots.

As I pointed out in “Everything Wrong With”, the fact that Lyra and Bon Bon are doing a piano duet makes me think that had to be fanservice toward the lesbian shipping of the two that’s been going on for years.

Kazumi Evans, the voice of Adiago Dazzle, had been on the show almost since its inception as the “fill-in voice” for Tabitha St. Germain whenever one of her characters was requited to sing. This is the first time she’s been able to play the “speaking voice” of a character on the show.

Rating:

3.5 Stars out of 5

Everything Wrong With “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic – Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks” In the Time It Takes You to Read This

18 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by pcclsky in Cinema Sins Knockoffs

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Tags

Adagio Dazzle, Adiago Dazzle, Applejack, Aria Blaze, Cinema Sins, Dazzlings, Equestria Girls, Equestria Girls: Rainbow Rocks, Everything Wrong With, Flash Sentry, Fluttershy, merponies, movie, My Little Pony, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, Pinkie Pie, Rainbooms, Rainbow Dash, Rainbow Rocks, Rarity, sirens, Sonata Dusk, Sunset Shimmer, the Dazzlings, the Rainbooms, Twilight Sparkle

(Yet another shameless ripoff of Cinema Sins on YouTube. If you haven’t checked them out yet after all the times I’ve told you…why not?)

Everything.

Wrong.

With.

(Deep breath)

MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC – EQUESTRIA GIRLS: RAINBOW ROCKS

In the Time It Takes You to Read This or Less.

SPOILERS! (Duh…)

Season Five doesn’t come out until 2015 because this was made.

SIN COUNT: 1

Here’s our villains. Don’t cough during the intro to this movie or you won’t know their names, because they are never mentioned again.

SIN COUNT: 2

The villains are Adagio Dazzle, Aria Blaze, and Sonata Dusk…or, for convenience sake, Lawful Evil, Chaotic Evil, and Stupid Evil. For some reason, the main bad guy makes me think of cheese more than music.

SIN COUNT: 3

So basically these three could have taken over this world over a thousand years ago if they decided to stop hanging around in coffee shops and just put a band together that would go platinum, but I guess so long as they didn’t “get a good meal out of it”, it wasn’t worth the effort.

SIN COUNT: 4

(After the Dazzlings discuss their intent to takeover at the band)

Megan McCarthy was presented with a simple task: create an even more ridiculous setup to somehow make something of trivial high school importance have the fate of the world hinge on it than “Equestria Girls” did. Well played, Ms. McCarthy.

SIN COUNT: 5

Movie title has the most subcategories of a title to ANYTHING in history.

SIN COUNT: 6

Movie is called “Rainbow Rocks” when it has little to do with Rainbow Dash specifically other than she made the band. It should have been called “Sunset Rocks”.

SIN COUNT: 7

Previously on “Equestria Girls”…courtesy of a Spider-Man 2 intro.

SIN COUNT: 8

Enjoy this weak song at the beginning because it’s the first of one million.

SIN COUNT: 9

SUNSET: “I didn’t know the whole school would be here…”

Yeah…because who would have thought the whole school would be…in school?

SIN COUNT: 10

Trixie has minions now. I guess Snips and Snails were too busy watching Will Smith’s old rap routines from the early 1990s to join her.

SIN COUNT: 11

Speaking of which, I can more than understand everyone hating Sunset Shimmer now, but…how come they’re cool with Snips and Snails? How come those two are giving her the stink eye like they weren’t going along with her? They even had to help her rebuild the school.

SIN COUNT: 12

“Fall Formal” is apparently the code word for “Everyone Hate Sunset Right Now”.

SIN COUNT: 13

The girls are a bit off. Technically Twilight Sparkle was the one who brought them all together after Sunset Shimmer split them all up…

SIN COUNT: 14

What’s this song Rarity is singing called? It doesn’t matter. It’s real title is “Exposition”.

SIN COUNT: 15

Girls still aren’t freaked out by the fact that they’re werehorses.

SIN COUNT: 16

PINKIE: “And friends are everywhere…”

Unless you’re Sunset Shimmer. Then people who want to kill you are everywhere.

SIN COUNT: 17

(Flash Sentry walks in)

SIN COUNT: 18

Apparently the Elements of Harmony made Sunset Shimmer as clueless as everyone else about how to recognize evil. Just look at these three. You didn’t even need the intro to this movie to know they’re dripping evil. The only way you can make it more obvious is if you had Voltaire singing for them everywhere they walk. She gets a special sin because she should know how to recognize it.

SIN COUNT: 19

SONATA: “Lunch?”

What’s the cheapest way to make villains who are cardboard cutouts of each other “different”? Make one an imbecile.

SIN COUNT: 20

(After the Dazzlings announce their plan)

Lame plan…but good exposition.

SIN COUNT: 21

Movie opted for original villains to sow discord in Canterlot High when they could have used humanized Discord.

SIN COUNT: 22

(Applejack voicing her faith in Principal Celestia doing something about this)

Sigh… Even if humanized Applejack wasn’t familiar with how Celestia does things…or, more importantly, fails to do things…she let Sunset Shimmer go unchecked for FOUR YEARS.

SIN COUNT: 23

SUNSET: “None taken.”

None taken count: 1

SIN COUNT: 24

The one time Luna not being around would have actually been beneficial, she was in the same room as Celestia to get brainwashed along with her.

SIN COUNT: 25

Green-eyed brainwashing reminds audience that movie opted for original villains to feed off of the emotions of the individuals in Canterlot High when they could have used humanized Chrysalis.

SIN COUNT: 26

SUNSET: “None taken.”

None taken count: 2

SIN COUNT: 27

Um…you girls remembered that Twilight couldn’t do magic in your world either, right?

SIN COUNT: 28

Cellular book.

SIN COUNT: 29

So Princess Celestia just shoved off the book that was her one way of getting in touch with her former star pupil onto Twilight Sparkle so if she ever had anything important to say or wanted to repent, she wouldn’t get the message. Damnit, Celestia shirks responsibility for EVERYTHING.

SIN COUNT: 30

People who wanted to see Merponies from the G1 series appear in MLP:FIM regret it on seeing they’ve been turned into Sirens.

SIN COUNT: 31

Ok, so you can blame Starswirl the Bearded for sealing the Dazzlings away in the humanized world instead of Princess Celestia…but the fact that Twilight Sparkle is able to read this in a book plus the plot has since been altered to make Starswirl the Bearded a contemporary of Princess Celestia (which is its own sin but ignoring that for now…) means she knew all about it and didn’t break the mirror for some reason.

SIN COUNT: 32

Incredibly crucial and impossible-to-change plot device from first movie gets resolved by “magic science” in ten seconds.

SIN COUNT: 33

Twilight Sparkle, who forgave Princess Luna after, like, ten seconds and tried to rally Ponyville to welcome her back after 1,000 years of Nightmare Moon, is now as standoffish about Sunset Shimmer as everyone else.

SIN COUNT: 34

The title “Princess Twilight Sparkle of Friendship”. (I know this is supposed to be a kid’s show, but…)

SIN COUNT: 35

SUNSET: “None taken.”

None taken count: 3. It’s not getting funnier the more times you say it.

SIN COUNT: 36

Shouldn’t everyone in this school be stunned, amazed, and excited to see Twilight Sparkle again after what happened at the end of Equestria Girls? Furthermore, shouldn’t they all be fearful of the humanized Mane Six considering what they did last time?

SIN COUNT: 37

Out of all the villains that fans wanted to see humanized in this movie, the animators went with the Diamond Dogs.

SIN COUNT: 38

TWILIGHT: “Why isn’t this working?”

Because we need a lousy, unexplained, and weak plot device to make you sing like the title of the movie implies. Duh.

SIN COUNT: 39

(Rarity stating they need to perform at the Battle of the Bands to have everyone hear the counter-spell at once.)

Obvious and unnecessary advice.

SIN COUNT: 40

“We don’t even have to win…”

…Although you will and everyone in the audience with a brain knows it.

SIN COUNT: 41

Am I the only one who would love nothing more in the bedroom scene than to see what video game Applejack and Rainbow Dash are playing?

SIN COUNT: 42

Movie shamelessly cashes in on unexpected popularity of Maud Pie.

SIN COUNT: 43

But if Maud is there, then we can assume humanized Pinkie still lives with her parents, who we know in Equestria are practically Amish. They’re cool with Pinkie filling up the fridge with all the whipped cream? They’re cool with even owning a fridge?

SIN COUNT: 44

Actually, Twilight’s lyrics aren’t any worse than the rest of the film. She just can’t sing. Or are we supposed to think she wrote music that was off key by mistake?

SIN COUNT: 45

Daft Punk.

SIN COUNT: 46

Um, why is it so crucial that the girls keep the fact they can turn into magic werehorses a secret…when it’s not a secret at all? Everyone in the school already knows about it. Later we find out that the Dazzlings haven’t just been “dropping by to look evil and sow discord”…they’ve actually been checking into the history of the school. The fact that they know all about Sunset Shimmer means they have to know that the girls can do magic. Unnecessary plot device is unnecessary.

SIN COUNT: 47

The CMCs are back in their clothes from their performance in the first season. How they heck do they manage to make it to the quarterfinals later singing that song?

SIN COUNT: 48

Movie plugs a meme of its franchise’s own “20% Cooler” meme.

SIN COUNT: 49

You know, what exactly is stopping the girls from performing during the Battle of the Bands even if they don’t make it to the Finals?

SIN COUNT: 50

This isn’t a sin. Just pointing out that Derpy may not have won the Battle of the Bands, but she already won the hearts and minds of the audience.

SIN COUNT: 50

Confrontation scene between Sunset Shimmer and the Dazzlings in that one corner of the school is a role reversal from Twilight Sparkle and her confrontation from the first movie. It might even be the same corner.

SIN COUNT: 51

The Dazzlings boast about knowing information about Sunset Shimmer every single person in the entire plot already knew.

SIN COUNT: 52

Lyra and Bon-Bon are in a band together…sitting on a piano bench together. And the fanboys and girls who had them shipping for years go ballistic.

SIN COUNT: 53

Sunset Shimmer the roadie.

SIN COUNT: 54

Why is Twilight on stage when she’s not singing or playing an instrument? Moral support? No wonder Sunset got pissed.

SIN COUNT: 55

So…the Dazzlings antagonized the school to be against the Rainbooms so that they could ruin their performances and make them upset, ending up in driving Rainbow Dash to ruin the performance, causing Sunset Shimmer to intervene to get everyone mad at her and botch their performance so they’d lose, only to have the Dazzlings brainwash Celestia and Luna to make them win, so that Trixie would get mad that she had her victory stolen from her so that they could encourage her to “get even” and use this convenient plot-device lever to imprison them all underneath the stage right where the performance was going to take place.

Most unnecessary convoluted plot ever to appear on the show. Were the Dazzlings trying to get everyone mad at the Rainbooms but still let them win and counted on various acts of fate, luck, and convenient planning at best to get them in a situation where they would be right beneath the Battle of the Bands stage and arguing with each other at the precise moment they were performing so they could absorb their power? Not only is that a Gambit Roulette, it’s also unnecessary. Why didn’t they let them lose? Wouldn’t that have made them mad at each other too? Why did they need Trixie to imprison them? Couldn’t they have done it themselves?

This is worth two sins.

SIN COUNT: 57

Three villain songs in one movie? Are you sure this isn’t a pilot movie episode for a reboot of “Jem” and we aren’t watching “The Misfits” right now?

SIN COUNT: 58

Movie opted for original villains to absorb the power of the Mane Six and the students of Canterlot High to bring out their true power when they could have used humanized Tir…sigh, forget it.

SIN COUNT: 59

Vinyl ex Machina.

SIN COUNT: 60

(Twilight’s proclamation that they don’t need a counter-spell and can just sing anything)

(Deep breath) DUUUH! For goodness sakes, right when you showed up Rainbow Dash showed you the video showing that when they sang anything they could turn into wereponies! You never needed a counter-spell! For that matter, you never needed to wait until the Finals of the Battle of the Bands! You were going to zap them right there and then in the auditorium! Movie just points out everything wrong with its own plot.

SIN COUNT: 61

No one making this movie has seen a rock concert since the 1980s.

SIN COUNT: 62

(The climax)

BASS BATTLE – FIGHT!

SIN COUNT: 63

Girls go Super Pony-Jin 2…or whatever Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon transformation you want.

SIN COUNT: 64

On that note, Sunset Shimmer is now Chibi-Usa.

SIN COUNT: 65

Sunset Shimmer totally displaced the protagonists of this film. She’s the only one who saw the green fog, she was the only one immune to the attempts of the Dazzlers to get the Mane Six fighting with each other, she has all the best insights, she gets the group to reconcile, and finally she unites with the Mane Six to defeat the Dazzlings. Not since Wolverine has a single character “taken over” an entry in a franchise so completely.

SIN COUNT: 66

Apparently those jewels had their larynxs in them.

SIN COUNT: 67

That’s right, boo them off the stage! Instead of, I don’t know, beating the sh’t out of them for brainwashing you and feeding on you all like parasites. Maybe we’ll just have to give them dirty looks every time someone says “Battle of the Bands” from now on.

SIN COUNT: 68

Entire movie is an excuse to restore the “2 earth pony, 2 pegasi, and 2 unicorn” dynamic to the main six characters.

SIN COUNT: 69

TWILIGHT: “Goodbye ’til next time!”

SIN COUNT: 70…71…72…73…74

Movie that begins with “My Little Pony” features less than five minutes of actual ponies on camera.

SIN COUNT: 75

So, at the end…Sunset is Twilight, Twilight is Celestia, the Mane Six are the Sailor Senshi, the world is Doug, and absolutely nothing in reality makes sense anymore.

SIN COUNT: 76

(On seeing humanized Twilight at the end)

Where the (bleep) have you been? We already gave your role to Sunset Shimmer!

SIN COUNT: 77

Also, Hasbro found a way to make Twilight Sparkle a villain.

SIN COUNT: 78

TOTAL SINS: 78

SENTENCE: BANISHED INTO THE WORLD ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MIRROR (Join the club…they have t-shirts)

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